Taboo
by ksjf2012
Summary: So a new Kogan. My other one...i don't know. It's on hiatus. I got this idea, just from thinking about it. The Title is Taboo, which means what;s going on in the story, may be considered naughty. Don't worry...i wont go too graphic...i hope. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

I've never noticed how extremely frustrating it is, to have a crush. First of all, I'm a grown man…I shouldn't get crushes. This isn't high school. This is the real world where, you fall in love, and make mistakes. You don't have a crush and sit back for it to go away. Second of all I'm a teacher. A professor at a very distinguished University. Just a little school called Yale. I teach English and it's great. But the problem lies with one of my students. The one I have a crush on.

I know! Taboo! It's not like he's a 13 year old boy! Oh yeah…I'm gay. Which, I'm sure, in someone's mind, that makes it worse. The gays are going to dominate, and force all your kids to be gay. Watch out!

Give me a break. Just because I like dick, doesn't mean I'm some awful person, who wants everyone to be like me. Trust me I would never want any person to go through high school, having the shit beat out of you.

But back to my original problem, which was sitting in the second row, nose in his book, furiously taking notes. I was sitting at my desk, forcing myself not to stare, but who wouldn't? He was beyond handsome. He had the perfect face, a slightly big nose, but there is nothing wrong with that. His piercing green eyes, too many times before made me blush and stutter over my words. His lips…well they were like perfect little lines of cherry candy. I had seen him a few times before rolling on Cherry Chapstick, and all I could think of was that stupid Katy Perry song.

If you moved further down his body, to his collar bone and chest…all I could think of was how great it would be to feel his skin under my palms. Gently and slowly rubbing his chest, kissing, nipping at his beautiful pale skin…

"Professor?" I snapped out of my dirty thoughts and stood up quick. It was another student, holding his book, and bag on his shoulder. "My name is Carlos Garcia, and I just started here. I missed the first week, because of misunderstanding." I nodded and remembered seeing his name on a roster.

"Right, well we just started a new book." I quickly grabbed him it, and a packet of rules and guidelines to passing my class. "Right now, were just taking notes form that book," I pointed to the one in his hand, and he looked down nodding at it. "So you can go find a seat, and start on chapter one, up to whenever class is over which is…"I looked at my gold Rolex and laughed. "In 2 minutes." He laughed and I smiled. "You can just go ahead and leave. Read both books, to get an understanding for next class. I'll fill you in more." He nodded and walked out of the room. I looked back out of my class and saw two green eyes, staring up at me. I swallowed hard, and he gave me a small smile, before sticking his nose back in his book. I cleared my throat and closed my laptop. "Uhh…class is dismissed. Everyone can leave. I want you all ready fro a discussion on Monday!" I had to yell it as everyone walked out. Everyone except one. "You have a question Knight?" He smiled and quickly stood up, pushing his loose paper in his open book, and closing it.

"Actually I do have one." He wrapped his arms around his book as he walked to me. His tight black jeans, did wonders for his skinny, but toned legs. "I was wondering. Where did you go to school?"

"Yale." He smiled and shook his head.

"What was your major?"

"First…it was history, and then when I realized how boring history was, I switched to English. Why do you ask?" He shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

"I'm having a hard time figuring out what I want my major to be." I gave a warm friendly smile, while putting papers and books in my leather bag.

"You're a freshman Kendall. You have some time." I slipped my laptop in my bag as he watched me. "Of course I would recommend making a decision by the end of this year." He nodded and I put my bag on my shoulder. "I Think about what you love, and put that in a major." We walked out of my room, and I shut the door locking it.

"Yeah that's the only problem. My parents want me to be a lawyer. All I want to do is play my guitar." I almost dropped my keys, and he took notice at my sudden turn of nerves.

A musician?! You have got to be kidding me…could he be even more desirable?

"Well…you can't do things for the sake of your parents Kendall." We started walking, and when I realized he wasn't going to stop following me, until I told him everything he wanted to hear. "How about this?" I stopped and turned to him. He was taller than me, so I had to look up. "I will help you. There are music programs here, and you can take them with any other classes." He gave me a huge smile and sighed.

"You'd help me?" I'd do a lot more to you.

"Of course."

"Thanks Mr. Mitchell!" He gave me a quick hug and ran off, smiling ear to ear.

"Thank you…" I watched him run into a group of people. One of them, went to him, snaking an arm around his waist and kissing him hard on the lips. I felt a pang of jealousy knock around in my chest, seeing the blond beauty I had grown to staring at, kiss another guy.

The only silver lining I saw, while driving home to my condo, was that he was at least gay. Still I could do nothing. He was 19. He was seeing someone…

Jesus Christ! He was 19 and in a relationship! Stop having these thoughts! They will only get you in trouble! I was having a war in my head, and when I pulled into my spot, I groaned seeing a familiar, tiny black sports car parked next to my spot. I got out quick and ran up the stairs to my door. I didn't even have to unlock my door. I heard the soft hum of some jazz singer. I walked in and slammed the door.

"James?!" I heard hurried footsteps and set my bag down, seeing him walking out of my kitchen, wiping his hands with a dish towel. He was grinning ear to ear. "Why did I give you a key? Remind me…please." He laughed and walked into me, making me, crash into the door I just shut. I turned my head away from him, and his lips attached to my neck.

"Nice to see you too babe." I pushed on his rock hard abs and he laughed walking back into the kitchen. I was hit for the first time, with a delicious smell.

"You cooked for me?" I loosened my tie and tossed my jacket on the couch as I walked into the kitchen.

"Its our third year handsome." I shook my head walked to the counter picking at a freshly made Greek salad.

"This isn't anything James."

"Ouch." I turned to him and he put the towel on his shoulder, while stirring a pot on the stove. "You know, I only come out here for you." I gave a small smile and turned back to the stove. "What's on your mind Einstein?" I leaned against the counter as he walked to me, pushing two fingers into my belt loops, pulling me into him.

"How about you pour me a glass of wine, and I'll tell you all about it." He gave a devilish grin and nodded.

James wasn't my boyfriend. Although at one point in our lives, we were head over heels in love with each other. But our lives are so different. I'm a nerdy Yale professor. He's a model. Yeah, we have nothing in common.

But whenever I'm around him, and this was the reason I wanted to stay friends with him, was I felt like myself. I was happy, and I was comfortable. I could tell him anything, without feeling afraid of rejection or, judgment.

So when he sat me down, and fed me pasta with the Greek salad, and with the help of two glasses of red wine, I confessed my student crush to him. He smiled and sipped his wine looking up at the ceiling, and I brought my leg sup to my chest, hugging around them.

"Don't laugh at me. I know I'm an idiot." He shook his head and put his empty glass down on the table.

"That's not why I'm laughing. I remember a specific time, when you would talk about me like that." I rolled my eyes and rested my head on my knees. "And if I recall correctly, we were in love."

"We still are moron." He chuckled again and got up, grabbing both of our empty plates.

"Okay so, so what? He's 19…who cares. I say go for it! Your 30…and you're not getting any younger." I shot him a dirty look and he laughed, washing off the plates. "It's alright to have a crush Loges. And it is even okay to take those feelings to the next level."

"He has a boyfriend and you're out of your mind. He's my student. I could get fired."

"Not if anyone knew." I sat back and scrunched my eyebrows. I knew James to be a player. And I knew, he wasn't one for being slow or casual. But having a secret relationship, with one of my 19 year old students, was beyond insane. "Just think about it." He put the plates in the dishwasher. "Having crazy wild sex in your classroom. Lights off, door locked, knocks coming in, asking if everything's alright…" He paused, and looked up, like he was thinking about it.

"James!" I slammed my hand down on the table and he looked at me laughing.

"Seriously…like always you are over thinking things." I shook my head, getting up, grabbing my half full glass of wine. I walked out into my living room and laid on my back on my couch. I closed my eyes, and put one arm over them. I heard James still working around in the kitchen and I sighed.

I loved having him here. Yes we broke up. Yes, he cheated and I told myself, there was no way I could ever trust him again, but he was such a good friend…and honestly, an amazing kisser and great in bed. No matter how hurt he made me…I still wanted nothing more than to be with him. I moved my arm off my eyes and opened them seeing him walking out, holding the bottle of wine and his still empty glass.

I think I was just so upset about my stupid crush, that James said sounded more like being in love, that I even did what I did. I sat up, letting him sit down, and quickly pushed my body into his. Our lips met and he grabbed around my hips. We kissed, for what felt like an eternity, but really only a minute or so. He was the first to pull away, surprisingly. When he did, he stood up, and backed away.

"Logan…"

"Isn't this why you're here?" I asked bluntly. Yes we had broken up, but since then, we have hooked up. Which is usually why he was here. He ran a hand through his beautiful hair and let out a low sigh.

"Yes…I mean…no." I got up and raised my eyebrows. "I wanted to tell you…" He shook his head and closed his eyes. "I'm engaged." Every single breath left my body. I fell back on the couch and stared at the floor.

This was not fair.


	2. Chapter 2: Outside The Classroom

'Stop staring at me…just look away…please.'

He didn't though, and it should creep me out. But, oh my God he was gorgeous.

"Okay I think we'll call it an early day today. You guys have listened to me talk enough." Tiny laughs were heard around the room, and people started getting up talking quietly and leaving. I didn't though. I swallowed hard and looked down at my desk. I heard the last few students leave and papers shuffling.

"You have a question Knight?" I looked up eyes wide and managed a small shake of the head. "Would you like to discuss your major?"

'Perfect excise to be with him.'

"Yes…please…"

'Why did I say please? God I'm an idiot' He nodded and rolled his sleeve sup on his arms, above his elbows.

"Okay…so you really like playing guitar?" I nodded and put my papers and books in my back pack. "So you should be taking as many music classes as you can. It's one thing to know how to play, but you cannot get a job just playing unless you're a rock star."

'I bet if I was a rock star, you would notice me.' He got up from his desk, holding two papers.

"So here is a list of all the classes Yale offers. There's not that much, but enough to get you a degree in music. And after your four years here…"

'Four years with him? Heaven.'

"You can go anywhere, and teach guitar."

"You mean be a teacher?" He nodded and set the paper son my desk. I looked at them and saw the words, but I could not understand them. He was standing right in front of me. He crotch…perfect view. I knew I was blushing, and I hoped to God, he couldn't see them.

"You alright? You look kind of flustered…" I looked up and he gave a small smile. "I know…it's overwhelming…but, these are the best years of your life. Live them to the fullest." I swallowed hard.

"Thanks-thanks Mr. Mitchell." He smiled big and walked back to his desk.

"That's why I'm here Kendall." I watched him start putting things in his bag, not looking at me. I stayed seated. I didn't want to be away from him. I couldn't, he was…my oxygen. He was my everything. And he didn't even know it.

"Babe?" I stood up, knocking my bag off my desk and turned to the door. My…boyfriend…yupp…I forgot about him. He sauntered in, without even looking at Mr. Mitchell. "We have a date." He picked up my bag and flipped it over his shoulder. "Lets go." I swallowed hard and let him pull me to the door. I turned and saw Mr. Mitchell…looking sad.

"Thanks Mr. Mitchell…I'll see you next time…" I was pulled out of the room fast and his lips were on my neck. "I was having a meeting Adam."

"I don't care…we have a date." I looked up at him and he shook his head. "Remember, you begged me for a romantic, bullshit dinner?" I looked away and sighed quietly.

An hour later we were sitting at an Italian restaurant. He was stuffing his face with garlic bread. I looked around and saw our waiter walking back with the check. He set it down and smiled, walking away. Adam picked it up and gave it to me.

"Can you pay babe?" I took to form him and pulled out my wallet. I pulled out two twenties and put them in the little book. "Man this was a good dinner. You happy now? We had a fancy romantic dinner." I gave a fake smile and he stood up. I stood up with him, and we walked out, him holding my hand. He got me in his car and slowly drove down the street until he pulled into a dark parking lot.

"What are we doing?" He shut off his car and smiled. I smiled back and he leaned in quick. Our lips crashed together hard and his hands went on my waist. He pulled me into him while taking off my seat belt. I pulled away and laughed. "What's on your mind?" His lips sucked onto my neck while his hands worked my belt. I slowly started understand and pushed him away. "I'm not ready." He rolled his eyes and went back to sucking on my neck. He got my belt undone and I again pushed away. "Seriously I don't want to right now…" He sighed and unbuttoned my pants. I pushed his hands away and he shook his head.

"Babe come on! I'm horny as shit!" I buttoned myself up and buckled my belt. "Seriously…" His hand rubbed on my crotch and pushed it away. He groaned out and sat back in his seat. "Your being a dick. And a fucking tease." I looked over at him and he was pouting.

"I'm not ready. I thought you said you would wait for me?" He chuckled and turned to me.

"Well I don't want to wait anymore, so either we have sex or get out of my car." My mouth dropped and I quickly opened the door. I got out, slamming the door hard. He started the car, and I walked fast. "Babe…come one!" I turned to the left and he was driving by slowly. "Just get in the car. I'm sorry."

"Leave me alone." He sighed and closed his window. He speed off fast and I stopped. "Asshole!" He turned a corner and I looked around. I had no idea where I was. I pulled out my phone, and groaned. It died right in my hand and I put it back in my pocket. I saw a bus stop up ahead and I walked to it. I sat on the bench and sighed looking down.

I am a genius. I definitely know how to pick winners. Just because he had wash board abs, beautiful hair…I was sucked in. He isn't even that good of a kisser.

I wondered if Mr. Mitchell was a good kisser? I looked up quick. I shook my head.

'STOP THINKIGN ABOUT YOUR PROFESSOR LIKE THAT!' I groaned and sat back closing my eyes. I heard a car, but because it wasn't a bus I didn't look up. I didn't care. I just wanted to be home, in my dorm, asleep.

"Kendall…Kendall Knight?" I looked up, and stood up quick. It was none other than Mr. Mitchell. "Are you alright?" I saw him, looking at my neck and knew there was a hickey.

"Uhm…I'm…I'm fine…" He slowly walked to me and swallowed hard. I knew I was blushing, because he was wearing an old worn out Yale sweater , and dark blue loose fitting jeans.

"What are you doing out here…alone?" I laughed and put my hands in my pockets.

"I was…left." His eyes grew.

"Left? By who?"

"My boyfriend…he tried…pushing me to do something I didn't want to, and left me." He sighed and stuck a hand in the front pocket of his sweater. He pulled out keys and turned to his car.

"I'll drive you home." I slowly walked to the open door, and got in. He shut the door softly and walked to the driver's side. His car smelt like his cologne and it made my stomach flutter. He got in, and shut his door hard. I turned to him as he turned his car on, and he looked angry.

"Look, Mr. Mitchell…if you don't want to drive me home…" He looked at me and shook his head.

"No it's not that…I just can't believe someone would just leave someone out in t=one of the most dangerous parts of town alone." I smiled and looked away.

"Yeah I really know how to pick 'em." He et out a soft sigh and started driving.

I couldn't stop thinking that this was fate. I knew he was gay…he used to date a really attractive model from L.A. I also had a huge crush on him…this had to be fate what else could it be?

"So where am I taking you?"

'Your place?'

"Uhm…the dorms." I turned to him and he nodded. He drove down the street and stopped at a red light. We were silent. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't stop looking at him. He was so…handsome. He was 11 years older than me…but age is just a number.

"You know…not every good looking guy is great for you." I looked away and smiled.

"Yeah I'm starting to understand that." He drove through the green light and chuckled.

"Your young though…you'll learn." I turned back to him and thought about how much more he could teach me…outside the classroom.


	3. Chapter 3: See Me Now

"I want you all to come up and get your papers. I'm not lying…I'm not very thrilled with these grades. It's like you guys didn't even read the book. So come up and if you have questions talk to me." All my students got up and walked somberly to my desk. I started passing out papers, most kids didn't complain, and hurried out, afraid I would beat them or something. As the crowd thinned, I saw a familiar looking blond taking a seat in the back. He had two cups of coffee, and a big smile. I felt nervous as the last three kids took their papers from my hands. They walked out and I leaned against my desk putting my hand sin my pockets. "It's not Tuesday or Friday." He laughed and walked down to me. When we were feet away he extended his hand with the coffee. I took it eyebrows raised.

"I never…properly thanked you about the other night." I nodded and sipped the coffee. "Not that you would care, but I broke up with him. You were right. Not every good looking guy is good for me." I laughed and he shuffled his feet.

"Well good for you. Deserve someone better."

'Like me.' He swallowed hard and shook his head, closing his eyes.

"I know…I think…I just was wondering…" If I didn't know any better he was way too nervous. Kind of like how I felt.

"You alright Kendall?" He opened his eyes and sighed out loud.

"I feel silly confessing this to you…but I have a tiny crush on you." He swallowed hard again and looked away. My stomach did a million flips while my throat threatened to scream. "You know what…just forget it…I'll see you in class Mr. M." He started walking away and I grabbed his arm. He looked at me quick and I probably did the stupidest thing I've ever done. I pulled him into me hard, and pressed my lisp into his. He didn't move. He just froze in his place. When I opened my eyes and realized what I had done. I pushed away and ran into my desk. I was out of breath, all because of a silly little kiss, that wasn't even mutual.

"I am so…sorry Kendall. That was highly inappropriate of me." His eyes were huge and all I could think of, was where I could work after I got fired from Yale. No self-respecting School would hire a pervert.

He let out a low sigh and I wished he would just say something. His bag dropped off his shoulder and he placed his coffee on my desk. I opened my mouth to speak but my lips were forced closed by two more lips. He was kissing me back. He was actually kissing me back. I was being kissed…by my crush. The 19 year old beauty who I haven't been able to stop thinking about for two weeks. I put my hands on his sides and pulled him into me. His hands went on the side of my face and licked at my bottom lip. For a 19 year old, he sure knew what he was doing.

My lips parted but he stopped quick. Then heels walked into my room. I turned and saw one of my close friends, and fellow teachers walk in. She slowed down and stopped all together.

"Sorry Logan. I didn't know you were having a meeting." Kendall turned away and I stood up straight clearing my throat. "I'll come back later Mitchell." She backed out slowly, and as if she knew something else was going on, shut the door. I turned to Kendall who reached down picking up his bag.

"Kendall…"

"I'm sorry Mr. Mitchell…" I cupped his face and he looked at me, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"First off…call me Logan." He gave a small smile and I chuckled. "Second of all…all though this is extremely…immoral…I don't want that kiss to be the only one." He smiled bigger and I reached up, gently and softly kissing his lips. We pulled away and I laughed. "Ever since I saw you…I want to do that."

"Is that why you were always staring at me?" I nodded and he laughed. "Cute." I laughed and shook my head. I let go of his face and grabbed his hands. "So…what now?"

I gelled my hair into place as a soft hum of music came from my living room. I told Kendall where I lived, knowing it would be easier to even see each other outside of school, at my tiny and secluded condo. I told him to just walk in, incase someone saw us. When I heard a soft knock and then the door open my heart fluttered.

"Mr. Mitchel…crap…I mean Logan?" I laughed and walked out of my bathroom turning off the light. When I saw him I had to smile. He smiled back and waved a bouquet of flowers. "Hi!" I walked to him and gave a small kiss to his cheek. He blushed and I took the flowers from him. I was the more experienced and older one, so I led him into my living room. I set him on the couch and smiled down at him.

"I'll be right back." He nodded and I walked into the kitchen, putting the flowers in a vase. The dinner was cooking nicely, and I felt good about it. I reached for a bottle of wine but stopped. Shit, he's not 21.

Holy crap I had a 19 year old sitting in my living room. I took a step back and let out a sigh. I could do this…I had to because…I was head over heels for him. I walked to the fridge and looked through it. All I had was water, milk and a 12 pack of Coke. I grabbed two cans and popped them opened. I put ice in two cups and poured the bubbling soda in them. I sighed and walked back out to the living room. He was standing in front of one of my many bookcases looking at the books. I silently put the glasses on the coffee table and walked next to him. He looked down at me and laughed.

"I know I'm going to regret this, but how old are you?" He took a year book off the shelf and I laughed.

"I just turned 30." We looked at each other and I smiled. "Freaked out yet?" He shook his head and opened the yearbook. It was my senior one, and I flipped the pages until it was me. I had horrible big, thick glasses on, and braces. He chuckled and looked at the photo. "I think I have more interesting books in here." He laughed and closed the yearbook, putting it on the shelf. "So tell me something?" He looked at me and we walked back to my couch. "Your not one of those students who are just doing this to pass my class are you?" He laughed and sipped at his drink.

"No…have you had that done before?" I shook my head and felt relaxed. "Also…am I in danger of failing?"

"No. You have an A." He nodded and put his glass back on the table.

"Well I can be one of those students if I can have an A plus…" I sighed and he laughed. "I'm kidding. I think I really like you…in that little girl school crush." Not going to lie that kind of hurt, but I waved it off.

"Yeah I think I know what you mean." We caught eyes and he wrung his hands. I laughed at his nervousness, finding it absolutely adorable. I leaned in quick and caught his lips with mine. He pushed in hard and one hand went behind my head. There was a loud beeping coming from my kitchen and I stood up, still holding onto my head. I laughed and pulled away, giving one last peck on the lips. I walked into the kitchen fast and turned off the timer. I opened the oven and smiled smelling the turkey.

Was turkey too much? Probably…but I wanted to impress.

"Turkey…and stuffing and mashed potatoes!" Kendall walked in and I took the turkey out. "Did you know Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday?" I laughed and closed the oven. "Do you need any help?" I sighed and looked around. The table was already set up, and all I had to do was carve the turkey. I walked to him and gently grabbed his hips, pushing him against the counter.

"How about you just…stand there and look cute." He smiled and nodded. I kissed his lips and pulled away. He continued to smile and turned back to the counter where I grabbed the carving knife and started to cut the bird.

If only James could see me now.


	4. Chapter 4L Normal

"I think once you turn thirty you can tell me how fun it is being old." He laughed and sipped his drink.

"I'll I'm saying is being 19…your restricted." I laughed. We caught each other's eyes and I looked at the clock on the wall. We had been sitting at my table, after we ate. I cleared my throat and grabbed both our plates. "Would you like some help cleaning?" I smiled and nodded.

"Sure if you could put the food away for me…" He got up and nodded. We cleaned, laughing and making jokes, talking about our lives. As soon as we were done, we walked back to the table and I refilled our soda. Yes, I was serving soda on a date. It made me laugh, it was so cute. We sat back down and I put my hand son the table. I watched his every move, while he reached up, and grabbed my hand. I squeezed it and he sighed. "Something on your mind?" He looked in my eyes and laughed.

"I just…I can't help but think this feels extremely right."

"I think it does to."

"So…would it be too…just…and soon if I asked if we were boyfriends?" I laughed and he blushed. I leaned into him and held his chin.

"No. If that's what you want…that's what I'll give you." He smiled and we leaned in and kissed hard.

I was definitely more experienced. He seemed hesitant, and I had to constantly tell myself to slow down. Of course I wasn't listening to that thought in my head because I managed to pull him to his feet, and drag him to my bedroom. I was being taken over by lust and pure excitement. I forcefully pushed him on the bed and climbed on top of him. I was sucking…I mean sucking on his tongue. The soft moans coming from him only egged me on more. I hooked my fingers under the band on his jeans and moved them down to his button and zipper. His hands quickly went to my shoulders and pushed me off. I caught my breath and rolled off him.

"I am so sorry Kendall…I don't know what got over me…" He sat up and chuckled. He forcefully pushed me on my back and climbed on top of me. His lips attached to my neck and sucked. "I know…I understand if you want to go slow."

"Why would I want to do that with you?" His hands went under my shirt and I pushed on his shoulders. He looked down at me and I shook my head, sitting up holding around his back.

"I would like to go slow." He sighed and turned away, blushing.

Sure, I did not want to go slow because I was ready to rip off his clothes, but I knew he wasn't ready, and I wasn't sure how comfortable I felt taking a 19 year olds virginity.

I kissed his jaw and rubbed his back. He wrapped around me and smiled, kissing my ear.

We slept together…but not that way. We tangled in each other's bodies and fell asleep. When I woke up, he was gone. I smiled thinking about the previous night and took a shower. I had class…with him, in an hour. I got myself ready, spraying two extra pumps of cologne n my body. I wore one of my best suites and got to work.

I went to the teachers' lounge and said hello to everyone, and grabbed some coffee and a doughnut. I walked to my classroom not paying attention until I was two feet away from my closed door. I smiled seeing Kendall, sitting on the ground reading a book. His legs were outstretched and had head phones in. I gently kicked the bottom of his shoe and he looked up, smiling immediately. He got up and pulled his head phones out.

"You're here early." He smiled and I unlocked my classroom. I held the door open for him, and he walked in. I closed the door behind me, and locked it.

James voice popped into my head about having the lights off, knocks coming in. I smiled and watched him sit in my desk behind my desk. I walked over to him and set my bag down.

"You know…" I put my hands on the arm rests and leaned into his ear. "It made em sad not seeing you in my bed this morning." I kissed the bottom of his ear and he laughed.

"I had to finish a history paper." I shook my head.

"Naughty boy." He again laughed and I stood back up. I walked to my black bored and started wiping it clean. "You better have finish my paper."

"Of course sir." I chuckled and continued to wipe my bored clean.

As soon as class started, I realized it was a lot harder to have a boyfriend sitting in the seats while I tried to teach. He would give me looks, that would send me near close to the edge, and he even texted me. I'm sure how he got my number…but I didn't care. I think I'm in love.

When class got out, he made an effort to take his time and go super slow. But it didn't matter because one of the other students, Carlos Garcia, walked up to my desk, huge smile on his face.

"Mr. Mitchell?" I smiled back at him and raised my eyebrows.

"Yes Mr. Garcia?" He laughed and shuffled his feet, blushing.

"Uhm…I was wondering…" He stopped realizing Kendall was still sitting in the room and I cleared my throat.

"Mr. Knight do you think you can give us a second?" Kendall's mouth opened a little and while Carlos looked away I gave Kendall a wink. He nodded and quickly got up, leaving, shutting the door behind him. "What is it Mr. Garcia?"

"Well I just need some advice. I have a crush on someone, the one who actually just left, and I don't really know who to even talk to him." I felt my stomach turn and forced a smile.

"Well-well you should just go for it…" He smiled and nodded. "Just be you, and I'm sure he'll open up." He sighed and nodded.

"Thanks Mr. M!" I nodded and he walked out, keeping the door open. "Hey Kendall!" I felt a pang in my chest and sat down on my chair.

"Oh hey Carlos."

"SO I was wondering…would you like to go out sometime." I closed my eyes and turned away from the door, in case I broke down.

"Oh…uhm Carlos…that's really sweet Carlos, it's just…I'm sort of seeing someone." My eyes opened and I turned back to the door.

"Oh…" I heard how crushed Carlos sounded and felt bad.

This shouldn't be either of their college years. Kendall should have a normal relationship with a person his age. Not a 30 year old professor.

"Don't worry about it Kendall…I knew it was a long shot…I'll see you around." I heard hurried footsteps and Kendall appeared.

"Shut the door." He did as he was told and I sighed. "Why'd you turn him down?"

"Because goof…were together." My heart fluttered and I smiled. He sat on my desk, not caring about the papers he was sitting on.

"You that was a chance to have a normal relationship." He raised an eyebrow and picked up one of my pens, tapping it on his thigh.

"Normal? I think I'm going to make my own choices thank you very much." I laughed and stood up. I kissed him hard and quick and pulled away, shoving him off my desk.

"Get to your next class so I can teach my next one." He groaned and walked to the door. Before he opened it, he turned to e hand on the knob and smiled.

"Just so you know…I could date any other 19 year old, but I don't want to." I crossed my arms over my chest. "And I don't want you to think your running my college years because I'm in a relationship with my professor." He blew me a kiss and walked out, leaving the door open


	5. Chapter 5: B&B

Dating a 19 year old…when you yourself aren't not 19…is exciting. He is so full of energy and life. He wants to do and try everything, and I was willing. Even after only a week of dating him, I was so happy I could have burst. Every time we would start making out, he seemed like he was trying to get more, but it was still way too early. I have had sex plenty of times, and after he confessed to me he was in fact a virgin, I was waiting.

That was until one day after one of my advanced English classes, he walked in, smiling at the students walking out. When the class was empty, he shut the door and ran to my desk. He opened his back pack and threw a packet down on my desk, smiling wide. I stood up picking it up and he was practically bouncing off the walls.

"Did you smoke crack?" He shook his head.

"Nope…I just had a cram session this morning with some friends and I had to many cups of coffee. Read that!" I laughed and looked at the papers in my hand. I almost feel back. It was a bed and breakfast, a couple hours outside of New Haven. I flipped the pages and noticed, a list of times and a bill for a room, already rented, under his name. I looked up and he grinned nodding his head. "I booked us a room, all weekend!" I put the papers down and sighed. His smile faded and he set his bag down. "What?" I sat in my chair and looked up at him.

"You want to spend a weekend with me…at a bed and breakfast?" He nodded smiling again and I laughed. "Why?" He blushed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Cause we could get to know each other more…and stuff." I shook my head and leaned back in my chair. He walked to me and quickly got on my lap straddling me. His hands went to my shoulders, and I put mine on his hips. "Don't you want to?" I sighed and smiled.

"I think it would be great…and romantic…I just…" He quickly covered my mouth and scrunched my eyebrows.

"Don't even start Logan. You know exactly want I want to do there, and I'm not going to spell it out for you. I want that Logan. Why in the world would you deny me that?" I rolled my eyes and he laughed. "That's what I thought. So I'll come pick you up, Friday afternoon after your last class and we'll leave." He moved his hand quickly away and replaced it with his lips. Ai kissed into him hard and he gigged. He quickly jumped off me and picked up his bag. "I need to get to class. See you later handsome." And like that he was gone.

Darning my lunch break I decided to do something, I never thought I would resort to. I called James. I needed advice. Professional advice.

"Well this is a pleasant surprise. How are you doing sexy?" I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my chair.

"James…I need your advice." I heard a door close on the other end and he sighed.

"Shoot." I leaned on my desk and picked up my water bottle.

"SO remember that…student…I was talking to you about…the other night you were here?" James went silent.

"Yes?" A smile was on his face and It made me growl. "Did someone do something naughty?" I turned to my door and watched one person walk by, in the otherwise empty hall.

"Yes and no…not yet."

"What the hell does that mean?" I laughed and ate a carrot. "What did you do?"

"Well…were…dating…I mean like boyfriend dating."

"WOO HOO!" I had to pull the phone away from my ear as he cheered. "You dog! I can't believe you actually moved in on him! Shit!...how is a 19 year old? I'm thinking about getting me one…"

"James this is serious. He's a virgin." James went dead silent and I closed my eyes. "I haven't done anything yet…and I was hoping he'd want to wait, until we were together longer, or until he was older…but he got us a room at a bed and breakfast for the weekend and told me exactly what he wants to do there." He let out a low whistle and I sat back eating another carrot.

"Wow…what a dilemma."

"You're telling me."

"I'm being sarcastic idiot! Have sex with him!" My mouth dropped and I almost choked on the carrot. "Seriously Logan…if the kid thinks he's ready…let him. I can guarantee as soon as your about to enter him…and I assume you'd be top…he'll freak out, and back out. First time nerves are full proof. He won't want to, because he's not really ready. Trust me I know how he feels being with you. It's hard not to want to get you naked." I blushed and again looked at my door. Thank God I was the only nerd who liked eating at my desk. "Just bring condoms in case. "I sighed at sat back. We both went quiet and I realized I never said congratulations for his engagement.

"James…I'm sorry about the other night, and I'm really happy about your engagement with Fernando." The guy he cheated on me with. I was bitter, and I wasn't going to hold a grudge because if he was happy I was happy.

"Thanks Loges." I closed my eyes at his nickname and smiled. "I have to get back on set. It was amazing hearing your voice. And any time you need advice…you know my number." I nodded and sat up.

"Thanks James." We said our good byes, all the while I couldn't stop thinking about Kendall.

When Friday afternoon came, I packed a small duffle with clothes, my camera and a box of condoms. I really hoped James was right about this. As I put my toothbrush, toothpaste and contact solution in my bag, my front door opened and I almost keeled over right there. Kendall came walking in, in a pair of tight, tight black jeans, hung nice and low on his hips. He was wearing a Yale hoodie that covered up more than I would have liked, but he still looked so…fuckable! He smelt fantastic and when he pulled me into him, I almost fainted at his soft touch, and sweet kisses.

"You ready to go?" I managed a nod, as I zipped my bag and he picked it up. I walked out behind him stared at his ass. Again…in the tight jeans…I almost died. "Eyes up buddy." I looked up quick and he laughed. I locked up my house and he walked me to a black car. A Benz. Four Door.

"This is yours?" He nodded and opened the trunk. He put my bag in, with his and shut it. "Okay…I'm a professor and don't even have Benz." He opened my door and laughed.

"My parents got it for me, when I got accepted into Yale." I whistled out and got in. It looked brand new, which made me a little sad. My car was a piece of shit. Was he going to be my sugar daddy, instead of the other way around? He got in and sighed. He started the engine and it purred. I shook my head and he laughed. "It's just a car Logan." I laughed and sat back, putting my seatbelt on. "I need to get some gas first."


	6. Chapter 6: Fun Gifts

"Do you have any other CD'S?" He sighed and I laughed. He reached over while still looking at the road and popped open the glove compartment. I reached in and pulled out a few CD'S. "Lame…lame…lame…you kids and your rock and roll…" He laughed and opened his window. It was a little chilly, but I didn't mind. There was a heat between us…that kept me plenty warm.

"You could have brought your old people music." I looked over at him and he had a stupid grin on his face, I could have kissed off. "Or we could turn off the music and talk." I quickly shut the radio off, shoving the CD'S back in the glove box.

"Okay what would you like to talk about?"

"Well…" He stopped, and looked hesitant. I had a feeling this conversations was heading towards James. "You're 11 years older than me…"

"Look at you. You know math." He gave me a dirty look and sighed.

"I just…I know you've probably had more experience than me."

"That doesn't matter. I don't care if you're worried." We caught eyes as he stopped and I smiled.

"It's just I may have done a little…research."

"On?" He shrugged his shoulders and looked to the front.

"James Diamond?" He said it under his breath and I looked out my window trying not to laugh.

"So…you snooped around on my ex, behind my back?"

"I wouldn't call it snooping…I just was curious. I mean the guys a model for God's sake!" I laughed and reached over, and squeezed his thigh.

"Relax. Just listen alight." I looked out the front at the beautiful view going by. "James and I met when I was a sophomore in college. He was in town for something…I think a family reunion. Anyway we met; we got drunk, and hooked up. After that…I was so into him. Well, when I graduated from Yale, after being with him for 4 years, I found him with another guy." I went quiet and looked over at him. He was staring at the road, but was still trying to look over at me. "So I broke up with him, and took a job teaching at Yale. 6 years later here I am. With you and that's all that matters. You shouldn't worry about him, I haven't been with him in 6 years." That was a lie, but I had to make sure he felt okay. I guess it was kind of intimidating to be with someone whose ex is a model. "Yes we still talk, and he's my friend, but that's it. Trust me Kendall…there is no competition." He finally looked over at me and the car stopped. He nodded and I sighed sitting back in my seat. I let go of his leg and looked around. Sitting in front of us, was a cute little house, two stories high.

"You ready?" I nodded and got out of the car. He grabbed our bags and walked me up to the front door. We walked in and were greeted by an overly cheery elderly women.

"Hello! You must be the Knight reservation!" She ran to me, and hugged me tight and quick. She let go and moved to Kendall, who smiled and hugged back, cheerily. "We just finished up your room, all I need is a signature form Mr. Knight and you guys can have your key!" She walked us in a little and got behind a counter. "So I have you two checking in, today, and checking out on Sunday, right?" Kendall nodded and picked up a pen. She gave him a paper and he signed it. She took it and grabbed a small silver key. "Here you two go! Have some…extra fun on us!" She gave us a not so hidden wink and I smiled but quickly turned away from her, while Kendall said thank you.

She told us our room was down the hall on the first floor. We walked to it and he unlocked the door. As soon as the door was closed, I crossed my arms and huffed.

"Did you tell her why we are here?" He laughed and set the bags on the bed. On the desk across from me, was a basket. I sighed and walked to it, tearing the little note card off. "To the happy couple…here are some fun gifts!" I imitated the old lady's voice and he chuckled. I grabbed a bottle of wine and turned to him. He was sitting on the bed looking at me. "Your not having any of this." His mouth flew open and he stood up.

"Hey! That's not fair." I turned away shaking my head.

"Your right it's the law. You're not 21 darling." His hands snaked around my waist and his chin rested on my shoulder. I took out a box of chocolate covered cherries, and laughed. "All that's in here is food."

"Keep digging…" He bit my ear and I smiled. At the bottom of the basket was a box of condoms.

"Wow that old lady's got class. Does she know how old you are?" Again another bite and his hands went to my belt. I dropped the many boxes of snack foods I was holding and pushed his hands away. "We are not spending this whole weekend having sex Kendall. I want to explore." He groaned in my ear and put his forehead n my shoulder blade. I laughed and pushed away from him walking to my bag. I quickly grabbed the camera and turned. He was already stuffing his face with pretzels. I grabbed his hand as he ate a handful more of pretzels and we walked out.

We walked around, on a trial for a good three hours. By the time night fell he walked me back to the bed and breakfast and walked me to a small, dining area. Only one other couple…both men, were there. When I saw the old lady from the front walk out, with another lady it hit me. He set me down and as soon as he took his seat I leaned into him.

"Is this a gay B&B?" He laughed while sipping his water and I reached under the table pinching his thigh. He kicked it up and hit his knee under the table. The other people stared at us an di smiled waving it off. "You are going to pay for that."

"I was wondering how long it would take you." I looked at him and he waved around. "Have you noticed the decor in this place? It screams homo." I rolled my eyes and picked up my glass.

The dinner went on, with us, not being able to keep our hands off each other under the table. We finished, what I assumed to be meatloaf and mashed potatoes, dinner and thanked everyone, and quickly ran to the room. As soon as we got in, we made out hard. I pushed him hard on the bed and climbed on his body. This time I let him tare my shirt off. I ripped his sweater off and we both, at the same time tried to kick off our shoes.

I kept James's advice on the back of my mind, as I tore of his pants. He laid flat on his back as I kicked my pants off. I again crawled on top of him and gently kissed his lips. I kissed down his jaw, and his neck. I kept looking up at him, as I went further down. I wasn't sure how "virgin" he was. I know there's a huge debate on weather oral sex, counts as sex, sex, so I slowly kissed down his chest, to his belly button. When he didn't stop me, I hocked my fingers in his boxers and slowly pulled them down.

Like I've said, I've had a lot of sex, with a couple of different guys, and I've been impressed many of times, but Kendall…

"Holy Fuck." I was breathless and had to sit back as I tossed his boxers to the floor. He sat up quick, cheeks red.

"What?" I tried looking up at his face but I kept getting drawn back to his dick. It was…huge. Thick and Long. What's that phrase…Hung like a horse? Yeah I don't think horses can compete.

"This is what you've been hiding form me?" I caught his eyes and he looked hesitant. I reached up and cupped his face.

"This is the first time…I've been naked…like fully nude in front of anyone." I smiled and looked down.

"Well you have nothing…and I mean nothing to be ashamed of. " He smiled small and as we locked eyes, his hands went to my boxers. I stood up quick still looking in his eyes and let him pull my boxers down. I watched him look down and swallow hard. I couldn't compete length wise with him, but I was respectable. He put his hands on my hips and slowly opened his mouth.


	7. Chapter 7: I With Him

I kept glancing up at him, making sure I was doing it right. Yes I have given a blow job before, and received one, but Logan was different. One he's older, so he's probably had a few. Two he was trying his hardest not to have sex with me, because he wanted to go slow. But I wanted this, and from his groans, and the tugs at my hair, I knew he wanted it to.

"Fuck…Kendall…slower." I did as I was told watching him squeeze his eyes tight, and grip my hair tight. It hurt, but I was learning for me, pain was pleasure.

He was bigger than Adam, and while I sucked him, I got nervous at the thought of him pushing into me. It was going to hurt badly, and maybe we should go slow. I pulled off his dick with a pop and he looked down quick. He nodded and quickly pushed me back on the bed, flat on my back. He motioned for me to get up on the bed further and I did watching his every move. He climbed between my legs and grabbed my penis. I closed my eyes and clutched the still made bed. His tongue circled around the tip, and quickly went down the bottom, to the base. He worked me with his mouth and hand. When I looked down at him, it looked like he was struggling to get me in his mouth. He only went down, just a little past the tip, but his hand managed to work the rest of me slowly with his hand.

He had worked me up to the point of no return and I shuttered under him, spurting out into his throat. I groaned out, gritting my teeth. I refused to grab onto his head, and tug his hair. I just couldn't imagine hurting him like that. So I gripped the blanket under my sweaty body, and pulled them up, arching my back. I was so high up in my climax, I didn't feel him, let go of me, and kiss his way up my body, giving little nips here and there. When he got to my mouth, he gave a soft kiss and slowly out his body on top of mine. He pulled away from my lips, and breathed hard in my ear and he laid on me. I opened my eyes and reached up with both hands. I held the sides of his face and stared into his big brown eyes. He gave me a sexy smile that made me moan. He pushed himself up, so he was hovering over me. I reached down and slowly stroked myself, while touching him as well. He closed his eyes and put his head down.

"Logan?" He looked up quick and raised his eyebrows. "I…I don't think I'm ready." He cocked his head to the left, and I stopped moving my hand. I let go of his face, and knew…he was disappointed. I turned my head and looked away, hating myself. I felt hot air breath into my ear, and then lips attach to the skin under my ear. His lips moved to the lobe and kissed gently.

"I know you're not." I turned back to him quick and saw him smirking. "It's alright I'm not going to force you into doing anything. I can wait. Trust me." He kissed my cheek and quickly rolled off me. He jumped off the bed and picked up his boxers. He threw me mine, and I got off pulling them on. He pulled the blankets down and motioned for me to get in. I did, rolling on my side, watching him. He walked to his bag and pulled out a long sleeved shirt. He pulled it on and then pulled out a pair of sweats. He bent down and kissed my head. "I'm going to go get some ice, and some drinks. I'll be right back babe."  
I nodded and he walked to his shoes, slipping them on. He grabbed the key and walked out putting his wallet in his pocket.

I pulled the blanket up under my chin and squeezed my eyes shut. He knew I wasn't ready. How embarrassing! I turned on my stomach and pushed my face in the pillow. I could have cried out, at how embarrassed I was. I bet, James was ready. And all the other guys he's been with. Maybe he was right. Maybe I should be dating a 19 year old. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I rolled back on my back and kicked the blankets off.

"I love him." It was quiet, but loud enough to bounce off the walls in the room. It had only been a week that we've been together. I've known and watched him from a distance for three weeks. How could I be so sure this was love? I guess I can't tell if I've never been in love before. It sure as hell wasn't love with Adam. He was just a pretty face, to distract me from my crush with Mr. Mitchell, my English professor. But somehow, someway, I managed to let that small crush turn into a huge problem. Love.

I turned to my other side and punched the pillow. I was going insane. That was all there was too it. He's 30 for Christ sake. He doesn't love me. He can't. Were so different, in so many ways, and let's not forget, I just embarrassed the hell out of myself. If he was smart he would leave the second I fell asleep, and drop me from his class, to not deal with me.

I cringed hearing the lock working and closed my eyes. Maybe if he thought I was asleep, had just go to bed, and not want to talk.

"You better not be asleep." The door closed and I opened my eyes. I sat up and watched him walk to the desk. He put down, two bottles of water, and two bottles of soda, and the ice bucket. He kicked off his shoes and tore off his shirt. I sat against the head board and watched him put ice in two small plastic cups and grab a bottle of water. He walked to the other side of the bed and got in handing me a cup. I managed a smile as he filled the cup, and then his. We both drank some in silence. I knew it. He was regretting this whole thing. I looked down at my now empty cup and wallowed in my own self-pity.

"Okay…what's wrong?" I turned to him and he had a look of concern and pain on his face.

"Nothing…" He smirked and put back some more water. He set his cup on the night stand next to the bottle of water. He turned to me and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I think you've forgotten. I've been a teacher for three years. I understand body language." I turned away and felt the heat burning from my cheeks. "Kendall…talk to me…please." I sighed and put my head back and closed my eyes.

"I'm embarrassed."

"What for?" I slowly turned to him and opened my eyes.

"For…not being ready." He remained still for a moment, and then…he burst out laughing. His face turned red, and his cackles echoed through the room. I sat up and dropped my mouth. He bent over holding his stomach still laughing. "Logan!" I gave him a shove and he turned to me, wiping his eyes.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" He put a hand on my leg and took a couple of deep breaths. "I'm sorry baby…I'm sorry it's just your so cute, it's funny." I sat back crossing my arms over my chest, turning away from him.

"You're mean." The bed went up and down and he was on my lap, holding my hands in his. He leaned down so were we staring at each other and sighed.

"You do realize, I had no intention of having sex with you right?" I turned away and he again sighed. "You have something…something special and innocent, that I can't take from you right now." I looked back at him, and felt my heart swelling. "You're still innocent, and pure, and until we have gotten further in our relationship, to where we both can trust each other with all our hearts, I'm not doing it." I swallowed hard. He understood. I didn't have to tell him, he just knew. And he wasn't being a jerk about it. (I choose to ignore his laughing fit two seconds ago.) He dropped one of my hands and ran a hand through my hair. We locked eyes and he leaned in, kissing me. Shocks went up to my brain and down to the tip of my toes.

Was this love? Perhaps. Was this a crush? Hell no. I was in way to deep, and felt way to close with him. So maybe at the end of the day, I should stop thinking about it, and just let him, be with me…and I with him.


	8. Chapter 8: Boyfriend

I slowly opened my eyes, remembering where I was, and why I was sore. I was sitting up still, back pressed hard against the head board. My arms were wrapped around someone, and when I looked down I smiled. Kendall was fast asleep, breathing soft and slow, not making any noises. His head was on my peck and his arms wrapped around my lower torso. I yawned and ran a hand through his messy dirty blond hair. He only stirred a little, but his head fell a little and laid gently on the middle of my stomach. I tried arching my back to make it crack, but he was making it rather difficult. I sighed and pushed my body to the side, trying to make him let go of my body. He wouldn't budge. I stopped moving and felt the urge to pee. I gently patted his shoulder and again ran a hand through his hair.

"Stopit…illwakeuplater…" I laughed and patted his shoulder again. He groaned and rolled off me, eyes slowly opening. "What time is it?" I looked at the clock on the wall and smiled.

"4:30." He groaned and rubbed his eyes.

"In the morning?" I nodded and got out of bed, stretching my back and yawning.

"I have to go pee real quick." I walked into the small bathroom in out room, and without turning on the light I flipped open the lid and went pee.

When I got back out, after washing my hands, brushing my teeth, and washing my face, he was once again asleep. I laughed and walked to the bed, putting one leg on it, ready to climb in. I stopped hearing a vibration. I walked quickly to the bags on the floor, and opened mine up. My phone wasn't ringing so I opened up Kendall's. I found the vibrating phone and pulled it out. I got on my knees seeing the message. From Adam.

"_Hey babe, I hope you can still make it tonight…" _My stomach turned and flashbacks of when I walked in on James with Fernando. I quickly opened up the message and deleted it.

I know…kind of bitchy, but the guy was a douche and Kendall didn't need to be bothered by him. I climbed back in bed, lying flat on my back. Kendall lifted his head and smiled seeing me. I smiled back and rolled to my side facing him. He rolled facing me and snuggled into my chest. I wrapped and arm around him, and slowly traced up and down his spine.

I didn't fall back asleep. I couldn't. Kendall told me he broke up with him. That's why we started dating, So why then would Adam being calling him babe, and asking if he could still make it tonight?

I tossed and turned from the pain in my back, and the worry in my head and heart. When I looked up at the clock on the wall it was 8:45 and I decided to get up and showered. I was in there for a good 20 minutes because when I got out, my fingertips were all pruny. I wrapped a towel only around my waist and walked out quietly. But it was no use. The TV was on, and he was setting on the edge of the bed, in my sweater and his boxers. He had his legs up to his chest and was hugging around them. He had the news on, and there was a weather alert. It looked like we were going to get snow, today and tonight. I walked out to him and sat down next to him, holding my towel listening to the meteorologist.

"_Expect snowfall by early afternoon, and not stopping until late tomorrow morning. This is going to be a big storm for this time of year, this early. Bundle up and try to avoid long distance driving. Back to you Tom." _He shut the TV off and threw the remote on the bed behind us.

"Have you ever noticed every news caster is named Tom?" I smiled and turned to him. He leaned in quick and kissed my lips. I pulled away quick and looked out the little slit in the blinds. I got up, still holding the towel around my waist. I opened them quick and shook my head seeing a light snow falling already.

"It's already starting to snow." Before I could turn around two hands and arms went around my waist and pulled me back. He put his chin on my shoulder and nibbled at the bottom of my ear. I quickly moved out of his arms, feeling weird about what I saw on his phone and then what I did.

"Hey…" I walked to my bag and picked it up. "You alright?" I nodded hoping he saw and walked quickly into the bathroom. I closed the door and clenched my jaw trying my hardest not to scream. I head movement outside the door and dropped the towel. I quickly pulled on boxers, a pair of jeans and a long plain white short sleeved shirt. I pulled on some socks and sighed out hard. I turned the knob and shut the light off.

He was putting a belt through a pair of dark blue jeans, looking down. I walked behind him and set my bag on the chair by the window.

"Did I do something wrong?" I let go of my bag and trend to him, he was standing barefoot in his jeans and my sweater, making it hard for me to not want to tackle him to the floor.

"No but I think I did." He raised his eyebrows and I pinched the bridge of my nose. "When I woke up at 5 this morning, your phone was vibrating, and I picked it up so it wouldn't wake you up." I looked over at him and he put his hands on his hips. "It was from Adam and he said 'hey babe, I hope you can still make it tonight." He put his hands down and shook his head. "So I deleted it."

"You deleted my message?" I nodded and crossed my arms over my chest. "So…I get a text from my ex, and you read it…thinking the worst, and then deleted it? Is that the jest of it?" I nodded and swallowed hard. "Okay…first of all…that 'babe' bullshit. Means nothing to me. I broke up with him. Second, tonight we were supposed to go to some stupid party his frat was having. I'm definitely not going to it. And third…I think it's rather adorable you got jealous." My mouth dropped to eh floor and I dropped my hands.

"I wasn't jealous!" He laughed and nodded his head. I walked into him hard and kissed him even harder. "I…" I trailed the kisses down his jaw. "Don't…" More kisses to his neck. "Get…" I sucked hard on his skin for a minute and pulled away satisfied with my work. "Jealous." He laughed and pushed me hard into the bed, attacking my lips.

We left the room twice that day. Once for breakfast, and once for lunch. We sat at the long table and the couple from last night sat across form us. I watched them, while we waited for the soup to come out.

One of the guys was young probably the same age as Kendall. The other guy…much, much older than me. Most likely in his 50's, maybe even 60's. The older guy caught me looking and smiled at me. He extended his hand over the table and I took it, shaking it.

"Jason Dole."

"Logan Mitchell. Nice to meet you." He nodded and wrapped an arm around the younger guys shoulder. He smiled big at me and waved.

"This is Jeffery." I waved back and smiled. I trend to Kendall and he extended his hand to both of them. Neither of them moved their hands. He pulled back slowly and swallowed hard. "Who might he be?" He asked me, and I shook my head confused.

"Uhm…this is Kendall. My boyfriend." The older guy laughed and sat back in his chair. "What's so funny?"

"You called him your boyfriend." I smiled and nodded.

"That's because he is." The young one, Jeffery glance between us quick and looked hurt. The guy stopped smiling and scrunched his eyebrows.

"How old are you?" I sat back, my temper rising, tensing my whole body. Kendall reached down under the table, squeezing my knee.

"I'm 30."

"And how old is he?"

"I'm 19 and I can talk for myself." I shot a glance at Kendall and smiled. I looked back at Jason and he grinned.

"Your feisty." I cleared my throat and took a sip of my water. "SO how in the world did you two happen to meet?"

"None of your business." Again Kendall spoke and It was my turn to squeeze his knee under the table. The guy's smile faded and turned to me.

"You better keep him on a shorter leash." I stared him down and felt my blood boiling. "See this is why you train them. Discipline gets you far."

"I don't think I need your advice, thank you though." The guy laughed and sipped his red wine. I turned to Jeffrey and he looked down quick. "Don't you talk?"

"When I tell him to." Jason put his glass down and I heard and felt Kendall shift next to me. "Something you should teach your little bitch over there." He pointed to Kendall and I stood up quick. He looked up at me and laughed. "Calm down Logan. I just call them like I see them." Kendall pulled me back on the seat quick and I sat down. I stared him down even when the soup came out. Kendall made me stop staring by pinching my thigh.

After a few minutes of silent slurping of soup, Kendall put his napkin on the table next to his bowl and leaned into me.

"I have to use the restroom. Please…please for the love of God, behave." I growled back at him quietly and he kissed my ear. He got up, and walked away excusing himself. I sat back and avoided eye contact. I only looked up hearing a chair being scooted back and watched Jason walk away. When he left I turned to Jeffery quick, and leaned forward on the table.

"What are you doing with a guy like that?" He leaned forward and swallowed hard.

"He pays for my tuition." I sat back and shook my head.

"You can do better than that. And there are other options to pay for school." He shook his head and I sighed. "Trust me you can. I know guys like him…" I stopped short hearing a yell.

"Get off of me!" It was Kendall and I jumped up. "Logan?!" I ran out of the dining room and into the front, where I saw Jason holding Kendall against the wall covering his mouth. I ran into him and shoved him off hard. He fell to the floor hard and people came into the hall. I grabbed Kendall and put him behind my back.

"Stay the hell away from us!" I pushed him out of the hallway and down our hall. I unlocked out room and pushed him in. I slammed the door and saw a faint red mark on his neck. "What happened?" He rubbed his neck and closed his eyes.

"I was just in the bathroom, and I finished up, washing my hands when he came in. He told me I needed to learn my place and grabbed my throat." I gently pushed his hand away and gently rubbed it myself. "I pushed him off me, and told him to fuck off. I walked into the hall and he practically threw me into the wall. That's when I yelled for you." I nodded and placed a soft kiss to his neck.

"Sorry baby…" He laughed and wrapped around me.

"It's okay."


	9. Chapter 9: Secret

"Do you want me to drive?" He nodded slowly, while pulling on sweats. I zipped up my bag and felt him drop his keys in my front sweater pocket. He kissed my neck and I grabbed his and my bag.

We woke up early Sunday morning, neither of us wanting to be here any longer. After the meeting with the asshole, I did not want to be there anymore, especially after what he did to Kendall. SO I woke him up at 7 and packed our bags.

We walked out to the front and put the key on the front counter. The old lady again, apologized and had Kendall sign one last paper. We waved goodbye and I walked him out to his car. I set him in the passenger seat quick and put the bags in the trunk. I got in, shaking the snow off my head and shoulders and closed the door. I smiled seeing him leaning back on the seat, eyes closed. I reached over and buckled him in. He sat up and opened his eyes yawning.

"Thanks." I laughed and turned on the car. I turned the heat on full blast. He pushed his hood off and laid back, in his seat.

I had a couple hours to think it myself as he slept, and I drove carefully and slowly. The guy, the jerk from yesterday got me to seriously thinking. I can guarantee people, a lot of them, would judge severely if they found out about us. They would think I was a sugar daddy, or he was just doing it to get good grades. Yes at the end of the day I just had to shove those thoughts out of my head, because all I needed was Kendall. And if he didn't care I was 11 years older than him, I shouldn't either.

And besides, although that guy was a complete bastard, that kid, he really should do better for himself. He didn't need him to pay for tuition. It's called loans. And even more, the kid is probably only looking for sex with an older guy to brag to his friends. I know the type.

When I pulled into the spot next to my old beat up car at my apartment I turned off the car, and sighed happy at the adorable blond next to me. I reached over and pushed bangs off his forehead. His eyes shot open and he sat up quick rubbing them there was a white out, and it was almost blinding.

"Where are we?"

"My place. I don't really feel comfortable with you driving in this." He nodded and yawned. He pulled his hood on and took off his seatbelt.

"You could have woken me up for some company." I laughed and put his keys in his hands.

"Just having you next to me, was company enough." He smiled shyly and I pulled my own hood on. We got out and he quickly grabbed the bags out from the back. We ran to my door, both of us giggling like school girls because we both almost fell. I let him go into my warm apartment first and got in quickly shutting the door.

"So are you inviting me to stay the night again?" He set the bags on the couch and I looked at them eyebrows raised.

"It looks like you already invited yourself." He blushed while taking off his wet sweater. "I'll make some hot cocoa. Pick a movie and flip that switch by the mantle and my fireplace will come on." He nodded and slowly walked to it. I walked in my kitchen and I as I was opening my pantry I noticed a blinking light on my answering machine. I clicked to hear it and grabbed the cocoa.

"_Logie Bear! It's mom." _I groaned and grabbed two mugs. "_I just got a call from James, and he told em some rather interesting news." _I stopped everything I was doing and felt panicked. Both my parents are very old fashioned. I can't imagine they'd agree to me dating one of my 19 year old students. "_And your father and I are coming out to meet him! I am so happy you found someone, who you really care about! We will be coming out next weekend, so give me a call back and we'll work out details! I love you Logie!" _I put my forehead on the counter and banged it a couple of times.

"Logie Bear?" I turned quick and he was leaning against the wall eyebrows raised. "That's so fucking cute." I rolled my eyes and filled my tea pot up with water and put it on the stove. I kept away from him and heard him walk to the kitchen table. "So you told people about me?" I spun to face him and he was sitting in one of the chairs, legs pulled up to his chest. He had taken his shoes off, and I couldn't help but think that right now, in his state right now, I knew it was love. He looked, perfect, in my old black Yale sweater, his grey sweats, and white socks. At that moment, I could literally see my life with him, and for once I was scared by that. "Hello…Logie Bear?" I sighed and walked to him, taking a seat across form him.

"I only told James because I was afraid dating one of my 19 year old students would be unethical or something." He smirked and slowly nodded his head.

"Well I'm glad he convinced you otherwise." He opened his mouth, and closed it quick. I raised an eyebrow and he sighed looking away from me. "Your ex still talks to your mom?"

"More than I do." He turned to me, looking hurt and i shook my head. "My mother was destroyed when James cheated on me. But when James and I decided to let the past stay in the past, my mom thought it would be appropriate to call him her second son. The gossip like school girls, but there is nothing to worry about." He sighed and looked down at the ground.

"So…I'm going to meet your parents?" I laughed and got up walking to my fridge. We hadn't eaten anything since last night, and it was already 11 in the morning.

"Only if you want to." I grabbed my eggs and a package of bacon, I hoped was still good.

"Well duh Logie Bear." I turned to him and he giggled. "I am calling you that now. So there."

We spent all day Sunday together, watching crappy romantic comedies and not keeping our hands off each other. I woke up late on Monday and was late to class. I got behind my desk and saw Kendall holding back fits of laughter at my disheveled look, and nasty attitude. I sent him a seething text and when he got it, he stopped laughing and stuck his face in his book. I smirked and sit down in my chair sighing. I had too many papers to grade, and too many assignments to give out. There was a nice neat stack of folders on my desk from my class now, and I dug through finding Kendall's. He wrote his on one of my favorite books, As I Lay Dying. I had never mentioned it to him, and maybe I was over thinking it, but it made me feel good. I looked up and he was taking notes form his book, furiously writing. I smiled and looked back at my desk. I stood up and lifted the stack of folders. I moved them to the corner of my desk, and a folded up piece of paper fell on the floor. I picked it up and sat down in my chair. I opened it up knowing it was probably a plea for me to raise a grade. However there was only 4 little words, words that made my stomach turn.

"_I know you're secret."_


	10. Chapter 10: Laughing

"I think you're over reacting." I put my hands on either side of his head and sighed. "And who cares…obviously they don't if they haven't told anyone." He turned away sighing. I took the opportunity to suck on his neck.

"Kendall please…both of us could be in trouble. At least I would. I can lose my job." I sucked hard and he groaned. "Kendall…" I palmed through his black slacks and he moaned out loud, thrusting up in my hand. I pulled away from his neck but continued to rub him.

"Just relax okay…and how about this?" I put both hands on his shoulders and moved up to his neck. He stared at me, and I ran my hands through his hair. "I will try to figure out who put the note on your desk. It had to be someone from my class…alright?"

"What are you going to be a hardy boy?" I laughed and pulled him into my lips. We kissed hard, his hands roaming over my back, and butt. We pulled away, me gasping for air as he looked calm and straightened his tie. He gave one last kiss to my cheek and walked out. I was left in the stall we shared will talking and leaned against the stall door.

What if he really did lose his job? It would be all my fault and I couldn't live with that. I got out of the stall putting my bag on my shoulder just as the bathroom door opened. I ignored whoever it was as I washed my hands.

"Well, well, well." I looked up hearing that same familiar voice. I saw Adam standing behind me in the mirror, slowly moving towards me. "You ignore me all week, and not come to my party on Saturday, and have the balls to show up at school." I shut off the water and walked to the paper towels. I took some and dried my hands. "Come on baby…you weren't serious about the whole breaking up thing were you?" I rolled my eyes and made my way to the door. As I reached for the handle I was shoved face first into the wall hard. "I'm talking to you." He twisted my arm behind my back and pressed his body hard into mine.

"Let em go Adam. Were done." He laughed in my ear and let go of my arm. I tried pushing off the wall, but he just spun me around and pushed my back hard into the wall. He put both his hands on my shoulders and smiled at me.

"You really want to be done with me?" He leaned in close, and shook his head.

"Yes now let go of me. I have to get to class." I shoved him by his chest and turned to the door. I put my hand on the handle and pulled it open.

"There's a party tonight and I think you should go." I sighed and turned to face him.

"Why in the world would I go to party with you?" He put his hands up and shook his head.

"I didn't say with me, I'm just saying you should really go. It will be fin. Besides we only got four years in this dump. Might as well make the most of it." He leaned against the wall and put his hands in his pockets. "What do you say Kenny?"

I nervously pulled on a pair of jeans and a clean shirt. I continued to stare at my phone, as I put on my socks. I was waiting for one of two texts or calls. Logan.

I didn't tell him I was going out with my ex to a college party. I didn't think it would go over well. So when I didn't see him the rest of the day, I knew he would end up calling. And just like that…he was calling. I swallowed hard and clicked answer.

"Hello?" My voice cracked and I heard him chuckle.

"Hey, I didn't see you all day after the bathroom."

"Uhm…yeah…I got busy…"

"Oh…well are you still busy now?" It sounded like there was a smile on his face and it made me feel absolutely guilty.

"Uhm…actually…I was invited to a party tonight." He went quiet and I sat back on my bed in my dorm room, hating myself. I should just not go, and drive over to Logan's, where I wouldn't be tempted.

"Well be careful." That was it? That was all he was going to say to me? He wasn't going to ask with who? I swallowed hard and nodded.

"I will be." We went quiet and there was a knock at my door. "I'll call you when I get home."

"Okay. Have fun." I smiled and said goodbye. I hung up and quickly opened my door. Adam looked, devilishly handsome and it made my knees weak.

"Ready?" I nodded grabbing a coat and keys.

We talked about random things on the ride to the party. He smelt amazing, again making me weak. His voice was sexy and deep, and was almost convincing me to do something I knew I would regret. I was not paying attention to where we were going, but when we stopped, I realized we were practically in the middle of nowhere. There was a huge house, with people in and around it, already drunk and acting stupid. We got out and walked to the front door. There was loud music playing, and smoke in the air. I walked in close behind Adam who told me to stay close. He led us to the kitchen where two cups were given to him, and he passed one to me. I took it, and drank some nervously, wishing I had gone over to Logan's.

"You want to dance?" Adam had to yell it in my ear and I nodded slowly. He grabbed my hand and pushed me out past people, into the living room. I took another sip of my drink, finishing it off. He tossed my empty cup to the side and grabbed my hips. "How do you feel?"

It was an odd question because as soon as eh said it…I felt amazing. I smiled big and put my arms around his neck, starting to move my body on his. He smiled big and drank the rest of his drink, throwing his cup to the side. He grabbed my other hip hard and spun me around, so my back was to his hard chest. He pulled me hard into him, and I started grinding on his body, moving my hips to his body movements. I closed my eyes and put my head back on his shoulder. His hands moved up my body, rubbing my chest and stomach. I felt so good and so energetic all of a sudden, that al I wanted to do was dance.

My mind flashed images of when I was a kid, all to the best weekend of my life with Logan. And I slowly opened my eyes feeling kisses on my neck. I smiled to myself and reached back running a hand through short brown hair. My neck was slowly being sucked on as our hips moved together to the unknown song. I put one of my hands on his and squeezed it, letting it trail down to the waist band of my jeans. I fought every urge in my body to not stop him. Yes we were in the middle of someone's house, but I didn't care. I wanted to feel him, stroking me, right here in front of everybody. But all good things must come to an end.

The music stopped.

"Shit! It's the Cops!" I was let go fast and fell to my knees. I looked up and around and felt queasy. Adam was pushing people out of the way to leave. My fantasy was with Logan, yet it wasn't him. I tried pushing myself up but I was knocked down hard on my stomach. I groaned out and then almost cried out, seeing Adam running past me for the exit. He didn't care about me. He didn't want to get caught by the police.

"Everyone stop running!" NO one did, and after a few quick 10 seconds the house was empty except for me on the floor. Two cops came over and looked down at me. I laughed hard and rolled on my side. "He's drunk. Let's take him in." I was lifted easily and my arms were twisted behind my back. I felt cold metal on my wrist an di was walked out of the house, still laughing.


	11. Chapter 11: Forbid It

I was lying in bed, hands behind my head, blankets kicked off, just in boxers.

It hit me again. I was with 19 year old college student. One who would probably get invited to a lot more parties. And I had to learn to be okay with that. What was I going to do, tell him no? It bothered me still, knowing he was out there, probably drinking, and doing God knows what with whoever. It made me nervous, like in a, I'm worried my boyfriend will do something stupid like the last one, nervous. But should I be? I mean…I trusted Kendall.

Right?

Without having time to answer my own questions, I sat up in bed, answering my home phone. It was almost midnight, who would call so late.

"Hello?"

"Is this Logan Mitchell?" I yawned and rubbed my left eye.

"Yes, who is this?"

"This is officer Martinez. We have a person here, who told us to give you a call." A cop. Calling me, telling me there was someone there for me. Kendall.

"Who-who is it?" I closed my eyes and hoped it wasn't him.

"Kendall Knight. He says you are a friend, and knows you'll take him home safely."

"What happened?"

"Well we answered a call about a noise complaint. When we got to the house, everyone ran out, except him. He was on the floor laughing. So we cuffed him and took him in. We checked his blood alcohol level, and he barely had a cup of beer. SO we ran another test, and it looks like someone slipped a roofie in his drink." My stomach did a flip and I got out of bed, holding the phone between my shoulder and my ear. I pulled on some pants as he continued to talk. "Because he's 19, he technically could be charges, but I don't think he will. He wasn't drunk, so were not going to write it up. I would however ask him, when he comes around, who gave him his drink." I nodded and told him thank you, and that I would be there in a few minutes. I pulled on a sweater with no shirt and slipped on sneakers.

I walked through the station fro the very first time. I walked to the front desk lady who pointed down a hall. I walked down it, and saw an officer setting behind a desk with a Martinez name tag. He stood up when he saw me.

"Logan?" I nodded and we shook hands. "I need you to sign a few papers, stating were releasing him to you." I nodded and showed him my ID and signed the papers. He led me down yet another hall until we were in front of a cel, with one person sitting on the floor, eyes closed. The officer opened the door and banged between the metal bars. "Get up kid." Kendall slowly opened his eyes and pushed himself up. He stumbled out of the cell, into my arms.

"I…I didn't tell them you are my boyfriend because I don't want you to go to jail." I sighed and smiled at the officer.

"Thank you." He nodded and walked me back down the halls, making sure Kendall didn't fall. As soon as we were out in the cold air I gripped tight around him and held him close to my body. "Your such a idiot Kendall." All I got form him was laughter and I sighed tying to open the passenger door while keeping him standing.

"Where we going?" I put him in the seat and buckled him in. I quickly walked to the driver's side and got in avoiding, looking at Kendall. He had little red marks on his neck, that made me sick.

But if someone had slipped something in his drink, was he really cheating?" I looked over at him, as we stopped at a red light after driving for a couple of minutes. He was rolling the window down, sticking his head out, and rolling it back up. He'd pull his head in just in time and crack up at it. I couldn't help but smile at how adorable he looked. There was a loud honk behind me an di steppe don the gas, going through the green light.

I stopped in my spot, and quickly worked Kendall out of the car and up the 17 steps to my place. I unlocked my door and walked him in, shutting the door with my foot. I walked him to my bedroom, and gently laid him in the messy bed. He was still laughing and when I took of his shoes he laughed harder. I sat him up and took off his sweater. We locked eyes and I had to stop for a second. He looked like he was in pain and the laughter stopped. I ran a hand through his hair, as he bent down and threw up down my shirt, sweats and onto my shoes. I stopped moving and closed my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Logan…"

"Don't…don't worry it will come out, and I can shower."

"No…I'm sorry I lied to you." I looked down at him and he looked up, tears coming out of the corner of his eyes. "I went to that party with Adam." I knew in the back of my mind that was the truth, and I didn't feel any anger. "I should have told you…I shouldn't have even gone."

"Who gave you your drink?" He looked away closing his eyes shaking his head.

"I don't remember…I just know I walked in with Adam…and he was given two drinks by a guy…I think it was a friend of his."

"And you went to this because Adam asked you?" He looked at me, near tears again and I shook my hand cupping his face. "I'm just thinking maybe it was his plan to get you there to give you the drink with whatever in it." He wiped his eyes and looked down my body. It was starting to smell, and I felt disgusting. "Help yourself to anything on my kitchen, I'm going to take a quick shower and do a load of laundry." I bent down and kissed his head before walking slowly to the bathroom.

After scrubbing myself red I got out, wrapping my clothes in a towel and walking out in a towel, I felt panicked not seeing him in the bed. I changed into boxers and a plain white shirt and walked down my small hall to the laundry room. I opened the doors and tossed my clothes in the washer with some soap and turned it on. I walked out to my kitchen grateful to see him sitting at the kitchen table. He had changed into a pair of my sweats and was resting his head on the table. I walked out to him and rubbed the back of his neck.

"How do you feel?"

"Like a jackass." I laughed and bent down kissing his bare skin. I took his empty cup and fileld it back up with water. I put back in his hand, and he sat up. His eyes were puffy and red, and his cheeks were wet.

"Babe what's wrong?" He closed his eyes and let out a small sob. I scooted a chair close to him and sat down rubbing his back. "What?"

"I…I don't want to be like James." I watched him take a sip of water and I sighed.

"You're not. Did you fuck your assistant in our bed?" He opened his eyes and swallowed hard. "Roofie's usually don't let you have control of your body. It's not your fault. I'm not mad at you."

"But if I hadn't of gone…"

"Then you wouldn't have been able to learn form a very valuable lesson." He raised eyebrows, wiping his nose. "Get your own drinks when you go to parties. Don't take handouts." He looked down at his half empty glass. "As soon as you told me you were going to a party, I was worried sick. I've been to college remember? I know how college guys work. And I know how unbelievably adorable and sexy you are, and to guys like Adam he thinks he can overpower you because of that." He leaned into me, and rested his head on my shoulder while I continued to rub his back. "I want you to have fun, but I want you to be safe and if that means you don't hang out with him…then I forbid it." I was expecting him to throw up his arms and dump me for being so protective, but he slowly looked up and nodded.

There was no way in heaven or hell I would let anything like this happen to him again. SO yes I was going to be a pushy, over protective bitch. I couldn't imagine what I would have done if something, God forbid happened to him. The thought made me sick, so I told myself, to stop the pain at the source and make sure Adam did not come around him again.


	12. Chapter 12:Dead Cat

I woke up with an awful stomach ache, and a horrible headache. I was still in Logan's big, warm, comfy bed and I snuggled in the covers more, not wanting to get out just yet. I glanced up on the alarm clock on the desk by his bed and smiled. It was noon. He let me skip school.

I remember the previous night, and it made me want to cry. How could he have been so understanding? I went to a party with my ex, let myself get roofied, and then let him suck on my neck. Logan bails me out and then lets me sleep next to him, like it wasn't a big deal. Why? If the roles were reversed…I would have lost my mind. Of course I doubt he would have gone to a party and gotten a roofie slipped in his cup. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it was a maturity thing. He was understanding because maybe he didn't think of it as cheating. Maybe it was just a dumb mistake on my part that he could look over. If that's the case, I'm grateful.

I eventually pushed myself out of bed, and walked in his bathroom. I turned on the light and went pee quickly. When I got done, I saw a collection of things on his counter. Toothbrush, dark green, with a special little thing on the back to brush the tongue. Colgate toothpaste, mint flavor. A stick of deodorant, Axe brand. A bottle of cologne, which I picked up and sprayed two pumps on me, which was Ralph Lauren. The guy definitely had good taste. I walked out turning the light off and waking in his room right to his closet. I opened it up and smiled stepping in a little.

He had at least 7 different suites, either black, or blue. He had a couple pair of tan pants, and God knows how many button up shirts. I thumbed through them, loving how nerdy his wardrobe was. Everything was nice and neatly hung, with no creases. On the floor were a couple pair of nice shoes, I had seen him wear to school, and then a couple pairs of different expensive looking sneakers. I smiled while opened the other side of his closet, but it quickly faded. Up on the shelf was a box, with one word written in big black letters on the side: JAMES. I swallowed hard as I imagined what could possibly be in it. I looked down quick at the jeans and casual clothes that were hung on this side and tried to force myself to close the door. I just couldn't.

I stared at the box on the coffee table and drummed my fingers on the wood. Seeing his name made me nervous. Seeing his name on a box, at the top of his closet made me nervous. Sure I shouldn't have been snooping…but curiosity got the best of me. I looked at the watch on my wrist and started bouncing up my legs. It was only 12:05. Logan wouldn't be home until 4…maybe. His last gets out at 3:30 on Tuesdays, and as he was leaving he told me he would stop by the store after work if I was still there.

I stood up quick hearing my stomach growl and rushed into the kitchen to busy myself from the unopened box. However, making myself a sloppy peanut butter and jelly sandwich only lasted so long, and eating it…no matter how slowly I forced myself to do so…eventually stopped and again I was faced with my snooping problem. I sighed and pulled the box closer to me. I unfolded the top and pushed the lids down. I stood up, avoiding looking directly in.

I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe James Diamond himself to poke out and beat the hell out of me. I don't know. But when I did look in, I lost some breaths. Held together by a piece of string was a bundle of papers. When I looked at the top one, seeing Logan's handwriting which had tiny hearts placed all over the white paper, my heart sank. They were love notes. I quickly lifted them and set them next to the box to look at more things. Under where the notes where, was another smaller box which I took out, and opened up quick. I heard a little bomb explode in my head as I saw silver, gold and diamond in the box. I assumed it was a box of jewelry and things James bought him, and it made me feel awesome about myself. Yeah like I could afford 24 karat diamond anything with my salary, which was simply money coming from my parents.

I closed the lid up quick and set that to the side looking in once more. There was a sweater, folded neatly and when I took it out, at the very bottom of the box, was a photo album. I unfolded the sweater and had to smile. It looked two sizes too big for Logan, but had Yale written over the front. It must have been James's. I set it down and picked up the book, sitting back in my seat.

I sighed out hard, and opened the front. The very first picture was of Logan and James, Logan standing by James's side, an arm around his toned body. James had a hand wrapped around his shoulder and was leaning his head to the side, so it was next to Logan's, both wearing big smiles. They were dressed up nicely, both holding a glass of wine. I couldn't tell where they were, but it was a nice place. I also noticed how young looking Logan was and smiled. I flipped the page only seeing two pictures of James. The first, he was turned away from the camera, and lying in a bed. He didn't look happy with his hands up trying to push, who I assumed to be Logan off of him. I looked to the next one and they were at the beach. James was standing in front of the ocean with his arms out stretched mouth wide open. He had a hat on backwards, no shirt and black swim trunks, hung low on his hips. I turned the page, hating how good looking and muscular he was.

I flipped through the whole book, seeing happy memories caught on camera that made me sad. When I got to the last one, I heard and felt my heart break. Someone else was taking the picture, clearly. James was sitting in a chair, with Logan straddling his lap, facing him. He had his arms on his shoulders, hanging off lazily. James was smiling, with his hands on his hips, only seeing Logan. I don't know why but I couldn't stop looking at that picture. They looked so happy…so in love, I couldn't imagine why James would have cheated.

I jumped up holding my chest hearing a phone ringing. When I saw it was Logan's home phone, I walked to it, recognizing Logan's cell number. I glanced at the clock, grateful my picture looking only lasted an hour.

"Hello?"

"Hey! There you are! I tried calling and texting you like 20,000 times but got no response."

"So-sorry…I was in bed still…don't feel very well." Only one part of that was the truth. I felt like shit.

"Oh…I'm sorry…is there anything I can do for you?" I sat back down looking at the last picture again and screamed in my head to ask him to tell me he loved me. I kept my mouth shut and closed the book. "Babe?" I forced a smile and shook my head.

"No I'm alright…when are you coming home?"

"I have two more classes and then I'm going to the store. I did a little research on drugs that are usually slipped in drinks at parties, and one of the side effects the next day are upset stomachs, so I'm going to make you my mom's famous soup. It cures every pain and sickness. Hand to God." I smiled for real this time and brought my legs to my chest hugging around them.

"Sounds great." We both went quiet and I glanced at the notes. My curiosity was kicking in again. "Well I'll let you go back to work."

"Okay…I'll call when I'm on my way." I managed a nod and ran my free hand through my hair. "See you later." We said goodbye and I hung up, picking up the pile of notes and walking out into the living room.

I told myself to be very careful as I untied the string. When it was free I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. Did I really want to read their love notes? Was I going to stop myself? The answers to those questions were the same, no, so I picked up the first one and sat back slowing my breathing.

"_Dear James. _

_Last night was incredible. I had so much fun…more fun than I've had in a really, really long time. I still can't believe it was me you decided to leave with but I'm choosing not to question it because I guess you're right; I over think too much. How you managed to gather that about me in one night I will never understand, but I don't care._

_I told myself I would not fall for the good hair, hot body, lame pickup lines, but I couldn't help it. Your way to irresistible. If it wasn't for you, I would actually be listening to my professor talk about the German invasion of Poland. But because of you, I'm sitting in my class, writing you a note, like a little school girl. Pathetic right?_

_I can't tell you why I'm writing you, because I don't know. Maybe there is something I want to tell you, that I know I can't in person. And I know as soon as the words come out of my mouth you'll be freaked out, and out of my life fast than I can think. I know…it's been probably less than 24 hours since I've known you but, give a guy a break, your God like, and it hurts to think about you. So do me a favor, when you read this, don't think about the geeky dork you mistakenly hooked up with because you were drunk. Think of me as the one person in Connecticut you will always remember as a fun night. Please, it will help my complex._

_Sincerely, Logan Mitchell._

_P.S. You are the first guy who've let effect my school work. Congratulations."_

I swallowed hard and put the note face down on the table as I picked up the next note, in a new handwriting.

"_Logan,_

_Let me just start by saying you are the most difficult person to find. It felt almost as if, you were avoiding me, but that couldn't be true…because like you said, I'm God like right?_

_Honestly…I didn't see you as the nerdy guy I hooked up with, for one, because I wasn't drunk. And two, I don't care if you're a nerd. Your cute, and have a great ass. Also I would appreciate it if you didn't call my pickup lines lame. I work really hard on them._

_I feel something for you Logan…something that is really new to me, and it kind of scares me. I don't want these stupid butterflies in my stomach, and I sure as hell don't want my head swimming with thoughts about you. I wonder what he's doing right now? I wonder if he remembers the nickname I gave him as we cuddled in that strangers bed. (Genius move by us by the way. Who knows what could have happened to our sleeping bodies during the night? Not that I would let anything happen to you.) _

_I'm not saying I don't like you. That's where my problem lies; I really, really, really like you. And only after one night! DO you know what a guy like you could do to a guy like me? I just see it now…a white picket fence in a modest neighborhood, with a modest two story house, with two little kiddies running around in the front yard with our dog Spot. Yeah I think I'm going insane about you._

_On a happier note, I managed to convince my grandma to let me stay with her for a couple more weeks, which means I can see you again, only if you want. And yes this is my way of asking you out on a date. No cheesy, corny, or in your words, lame pickup lines. I just want…I need to see you again Logan, and I don't care if it means you ditch class. You're not paying attention anyway right? Besides, you do realize how extremely boring and annoying history is right? You should be doing like English or something…just a suggestion._

_Please, please for the love of God call me back._

_Oh and P.S. You are not pathetic."_

I set the note back on the table and felt my stomach twisting into not's.

Curiosity definitely killed the cat.


	13. Chapter 13: Confession

**SO I MADE A DUMB MISTAKE AND FORGOT TO ADD A CHAPTER, SO THINGS GOT MOVED AROUDN A BIT, AND THERE IS A NEW CHAPTER, THE ONE I MISSED, CALLED SECRET, SO READ THAT TO CATCH UP. SORRY FOR THE CNFUSION. I PROMISE…IM NTO REALLY THIS DUMB!**

My house was quiet, which usually was the case, but Kendall said he would be here. I set down all the bags of groceries on the kitchen counter. I took off my jacket and placed it on the back of a chair at the table. I pushed my sleeves up on my arms and walked into my room. I smiled seeing a bundle under the blankets in the middle of the bed. I walked to the left side and sat down pulling the blanket off his face. His eyes stayed closed an di bent down kissing his forehead. I pulled away and he opened his eyes, letting a small smile come across his face.

"Hey…" It sounded so tired and cute it made me smile. I kicked my shoes off and lay on my side next to him.

"How are you feeling?" He shrugged his shoulders and yawned. "Did you get out of bed at all?" He laughed and nodded.

"I made myself a pb&j from lunch at like 12." I nodded and couldn't help but think that was a lie. He rolled onto his back and stretched his arms out over himself. I didn't know what it was, but it felt like there was a wall up between us.

"Well I'm going to go make some soup." He just nodded, avoiding eye contact and I got up, taking my tie off. I threw it on my dresser and as I walked out of my room, I saw my closet door open. I could have sworn I closed it, but didn't think anything of it.

I worked in my kitchen for a good 10 minutes before he came out. He was still wearing his clothes from last night but one of my sweaters. He sat down at the table and looked right at the wood. I leaned against the counter and raised my eyebrows.

"Okay what's wrong?" He looked up and shook his head smiling. "I know body language Kendall. Something's bothering you. You won't even look at me." He quickly looked down and shook his head again. "Kendall."

"Nothing Logan." I sighed and turned away from him, going back to my work. "Do you still love James?" I stopped mid chop of a carrot and felt my blood boil.

"Why are you asking that?" I turned to him and he was now looking directly at me.

"Do you?" I put the knife down and walked out to him. He looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders. "It's a simple question Logan. Yes or no." I shook my head and he laughed looking away. "So then why do you have a box in your closet of everything James?"

"You looked through my stuff?"

"It was very well hidden." We both went quiet and I sat down. He leaned forward on the table, never taking his eyes off me. "If you didn't love him, you wouldn't have that stuff."

"I think I'm allowed to have whatever I want in my God damn closet." He swallowed hard and I tried to keep my anger down. "You shouldn't have looked through my stuff." I got up and went back out to the kitchen.

"This wouldn't be a problem if you weren't hiding shit form me." I continued to chop things. "You do love him!" I turned and he was standing up looking near tears. "If you didn't you would have said no right away and we wouldn't be having this conversation!" I threw the knife on the counter and walked right up to him.

"Of course I still love him Kendall! But I'm not in love with him anymore!" His body relaxed and he blinked back some tears. "Stop acting like a child! How many times do I have to tell you, he broke my heart, and I can never be with him again! He is just a friend!"

As if this couldn't get any worse I heard a lock in my door and he looked over my head eyebrows scrunched. Not the greatest time for James to show up.

"Loges?" He smiled and looked down at me.

"Yeah I see that now." James walked in and stopped. "He has a key?" I looked away and felt stuck. There was no way I could fix this. "Whatever Logan." He pushed past me, without looking at James and walked back into my room.

"I can come back Logan…" I shook my head and motioned for him to sit down. He did and looked worried. Kendall walked out, my sweater off his body. He walked past us and went right to the door. "Logan…" James stood up and I raised a finger. I walked past him, just in time to have the door slammed in my face. I opened it up quick and shut it quietly behind me. He was half way down the stairs, hands in his pockets.

"Kendall you are not walking home!" He didn't stop or turn around so I ran down, and got in front of him quickly. He lightly shoved me and walked past me. He walked down the sidewalk and turned the corner to go out on the street. He was gone. I stood motionless for a minute, before I walked back up the stairs.

James was sitting at my kitchen table looking awkward and when I walked in the kitchen he stood up.

"I am so sorry Logan." I shook my head and gave him a small smile.

"Don't. It's not your fault. All me here. You want a drink? I think I got some beer…" I walked to the fridge and he nodded.

"What happened…if I can ask?" I grabbed the only beer in the fridge and kicked the door shut. I popped open the top and shook my head.

"He found a box of things of yours." He sighed and sat down taking the beer. "I don't know. He thinks I still love you, and I tried telling him I do, but I'm not in love with you." He smiled and took a sip. I noticed on his left a hand, there was no ring. Because we've known each other for so long he can sense when I'm trying to figure out how to ask something.

"We broke up." My heart dropped and I took a seat next to him. "Well…I broke up with him. I called everything off. He…" He smiled and looked down. "You'll get a kick out of this." He looked back up at me and sighed. "He was cheating on me." I reached out quick and put a hand on his shoulder.

"That doesn't make me happy James. I'm sorry." He shook his head and took a sip of his beer. "You came out here all the way to tell me that?" He smiled and I laughed.

"No. I was serious about the phone conversation the other day. I wouldn't mind having a 19 year old to warp into what I want." I laughed and got up walking in the kitchen, going back to my work. "He's cute." I laughed and nodded.

"And hung like a fucking horse." I heard him choke on his beer and laughed turning to him. "I thought it couldn't get any bigger than you but…damn." He laughed and I felt a pang hit my heart, like talking about him, Kendall, only made things that much worse.

"So why'd you just let him walk away?" I watched James push himself on the counter behind me swinging his legs, holding his beer.

"Because…James it's insane! I could lose my job for dating a student! It would ruin his name, everyone would look at him like he was a bad person, and I don't want that for him. It's best we just…let it go."

"That is a bunch of bullshit and you know it." I leaned against the counter and looked down. "Logan you talk about that kid like he's fucking Jesus! You love him, you're just too damn afraid to admit it. Like always." I looked up quick and he shrugged his shoulders. "He deserves to know the truth. About how you feel about him. Stop stringing him along because you 'afraid of what _might_ happen.' Just let the chips fall where they may."

"Yeah okay…so how do I fix this. He's walking home." He smiled and leaned on his knees.

"Go stop him. Go get him, grab that gorgeous blond hair and kiss the life out of him. It works. Trust me…I've done it to you a lot." I smiled and he pointed to the door. I walked past him grabbing my keys and running out of the house.

I found him walking down the street slowly. I pulled up behind him a few feet back and got out quick. I ran up to him and heard my heart break. He was crying, hard and I felt like the biggest douche in the universe. He tried walking around but I grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him hard. He didn't push me away. He kissed back, but at lease he didn't push away. I slowly pulled away and he looked confused.

"I love you."


	14. Chapter 14: Meet The Parents

"What if…what if your mom doesn't like me?" He straightened his tie and shook his head.

"My mom likes everyone." I laid back on his bed and closed my eyes.

"What if your dad thinks us dating is wrong?" I heard the bathroom light switch off and he walked out to his closet, grabbing a pair of shoes at the bottom.

"My dad is probably one of the most understanding people ever." I sat up and crossed my arms over my chest. He walked back to me, sitting next to me, putting his shoes on the ground and sighing. "Do not pout. You look more like a child then a 19 year old, mature, man." I raised an eyebrow and he slipped his feet in his shoes.

"Okay…what if I embarrass myself in front of James again?" He laughed as he raised his leg and tied his shoe. "It's not funny asshole. I stormed out of here on Tuesday like an idiot."

"And you think he cares?" We looked at each other. "James is a nice guy Kendall."

"And even more good looking in person." He nodded and tied his other shoe.

"So did you ever find out who put that note on my desk?" He put his foot down and folded his hands in his lap turning to me.

"Yes…but we don't have to worry. He promised he'd keep it a secret. I mean he will now anyway." He raised his eyebrows and I sighed resting my head on his shoulder. "It was Carlos Garcia. He said he saw us making out in your room. He wanted to use it against us, but I guess he's dating someone now, and says he doesn't care." One of his hands rubbed my thigh and he kissed my head.

"Well that's good." I saw him twist his arm so he could look at his watch and we both sighed. "Come on…now or never." He stood up, pulling me with him. We walked out of his room, him putting his wallet in his back pocket of his black pants. I grabbed my car keys and walked to the door, holding it open for him.

The drive to the restaurant was quiet. It was snowing softly, making me wish we could have just stayed in his bed.

This week had made proved to be difficult. After seeing James and Logan's history, I got jealous and acted like a prick. So what does he do? He tells me he loves me. I didn't get it. In class, we acted like normal, making sure no one figured us out, but he would give me looks, and smile at me, like he really meant that he was in love in with me. I forced myself to be happy about it, but what happens the next time I act like a 5 year old? I couldn't help but think he wouldn't stay around.

I parked sighing out. He patted my thigh and kissed my neck.

"I promise it will be painless." He kissed my ear and quickly got out. I followed, letting him take my hand and drag me inside. He told the hostess his name and led us back to a table. Sitting at a table in the corner was a cute, older looking couple. The stood up quick and the lady, who had Logan's eyes, ran to him and hugged him tight. He let go of my hand and hugged around her body.

"Oh my Logie bear!" He laughed and kissed her cheek, as they pulled away. She turned to me and clapped her hands. "Oh he is adorable!" I was brought down to her level, her arms hugging tight around my back. Logan walked to his dad, giving him a hug, as I was squeezed to death.

"You look like you've lost weight. Too much. Have you been eating?"

"Dad…please don't start that." I was then released and his mother smiled up at me.

"My name is Joanna and this is my husband William." She pointed to Logan's dad and I extended my hand. He shook it, smiling wide at me.

"Nice to meet you son!" I smiled back and his parents sat back down. Logan pulled my chair out for me and I sat down next to his mom. Logan took a seat next to me, and I noticed two more seats.

"Where is James?" Logan looked over his menu at his parents and his mom smiled, putting her napkin back on her lap.

"He had to pick his date up." Logan put his menu down and cocked his head to the left.

"Date?" I could tell he was tensing up. Logan reassured me he wasn't in love with him, but was worried that he would find some douche that would only use him. I reached under the table and gave a quick squeeze to his leg.

"Yes he said he met someone here. He said it's changing him, and he might even settle down here." Logan scoffed and put his menu up. It was blocking his parents view of us and I leaned in quick kissing his ear. He shook his head and turned quick kissing my cheek. I pulled away and lifted my own menu.

We sat, his parents asking me about my life, for about 15 minutes. Logan is exactly like his parents and it made me feel more comfortable. His mom was a sweetheart and his dad was hysterical. My age never came up, except when both Logan and his mother ordered a glass of wine. I declined and ordered a coke. Logan threw in I was also the designated driver, to make it less awkward.

Finally, when James did show up, Logan was down two glasses of wine, and acted a little buzzed, putting his hand on my leg and rubbing. We heard James before we saw him and as I turned to actually see him, I chocked on my drink. Holding his hand, smiling bright, looking extremely happy was Carlos Garcia. Logan coughed hard when he also saw him, and we both stood up.

"So sorry for the tardiness guys." James embraced Logan's mom while Carlos came up to me.

"Told you I met someone." I gave him a smile and he waved to Logan. "Hi Mr. Mitchell."

"Carlos…call me Logan…that's way to…"

"Weird?"

"Awkward." They both laughed and I knew Logan really meant it was awkward for him. We all took our seats, James giving me a hug and pulling Carlos's chair out for him. We all sat down and the waiter came by taking their drink orders. Logan leaned in as I sipped my drink and breathed hard. "You have got to be kidding me." I giggled spilling some of my drink on the table cloth. He ordered a glass of water, instead of another glass of wine.

We again sat and talked as we waited for the food. James and Carlos met on campus. James was leaving Logan's room, and ran into him. Literally. He made him drop his book and papers and spill coffee down the front of both of them. Carlos could not stop smiling and neither could James.

By the time dinner was over, Carlos was laughing and making Jokes with Logan's dad as his mom and I talked. I know I seem ridiculous, but I was worried about Logan. He had three more glasses of wine during dinner, and as we got up to leave, he almost fell over. I had to have James help me carry him out to the car and as soon as the door shut I gave a friendly smile to James and walked to the driver's side.

"Hey Kendall?" I put my hand on the knob and stopped looking at him over my car. "Logan…he really means a lot to me." I swallowed hard. It was going to be one of those talks. "I just…I don't want to see him hurt…like when I hurt him."

"I have no intention of hurting him." He smiled big and nodded.

"Good answer…because you could have been a dick there, but you chose the higher road." I laughed and opened my door. "Get home safe."

"You too." I got in closing the door and smiled, happy at how successful this night was. I looked over at Logan and he was staring straight ahead. "You alright?" He looked over at me and nodded.

"I actually feel really good right not now." I smiled wider and started the car.

We drove in silence except for the radio being switched to every single channel by Logan. We were two blocks away from his apartment when he sat up and looked over at me.

"Pull over." I did quickly hoping he wouldn't barf in my car. When I stopped he un buckled himself and stepped out, slamming the door behind him. I got out and sighed hearing him throwing up. I walked behind him and rubbed his back. He was bent over, hands on his knees, heaving.

"Is it the wine?" He nodded spitting out some more, but being done. He stood up and sighed. He turned to me and smiled. I opened his door and he got in wiping his mouth on his sleeve, some left over vomit appearing on it. Super sexy.


	15. Chapter 15: Tellign People

**SO I REALIZED…MOST OF MY STORIES KIND OF GET A LITTLE…EXPLICT. SO I THOUGHT FOR THIS STORY, I AM GOING TO GO MORE INTO THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP, INSTEAD OF JUST SEX, SO I HOPE THAT'S ALRIGHT. ENJOY!**

He glanced up at me, from over the table and smiled. He looked back down at his book highlighting something. He was studying, for a class that wasn't mine. He had a test coming up, and convinced me, which wasn't that hard on his part, to let him study at my house. He claimed his roommate was always getting high and it distracted him. But when he came here, he sat right at my table, while I graded papers across from him, he continued to look up at me, and then pretend to highlight something important.

He did it again and I sighed putting my red pen down. "Kendall?" He looked up, leaning on the table smiling.

"Yes handsome?"

"Are you even concentrated?" He laughed and picked up the mug of coffee I made him. He took a sip and set it down, smiling small.

"Maybe if you didn't look so…irresistible…I would be able to." I sat back crossing my arms over my chest. He stood up and slowly walked over to me. He sat on my lap, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Do not try to blame this on me." He leaned forward and softly kissed my lips. I pushed him away and shook my head. "I really need to grade these papers." He groaned and got off my lap walking back to his seat. He sat down and huffed. I picked up my red pen and again started reading a thesis paper.

I let 30 minutes pass of just reading and re reading one paper. The kid who wrote it, had a few problems with confusing his ideas, and jamming them into one paragraph, but it was still a good paper. I put a B at the top and put it in the small, finished pile. I groaned looking at the big pile of unfinished and looked across the table. I guess i didn't even hear him get up, but he wasn't there. I got up stretching and saw in my living room a long, lean body curled up in a ball on my couch. He was sleeping. Of course.

I walked out to him and gently got over top of him, putting my hands by his head. I held myself up, and kissed his left temple. He barely opened his eyes but smiled.

"Leave me alone. I'm sleeping." I softly laid my body down on his, resting my head on his shoulder. "I thought you had papers to grade?"

"I do." I closed my eyes and yawned. "But…a nap does sound fantastic." He laughed and rolled his body to the side and laid on his back. He pulled my head on his chest and rubbed my back.

I faded fast, tired from an over excited weekend with my parents. Since the dinner Friday night we had practically spent every moment together. My mom confessed she was worried I was going through a midlife crisis and that's why I was dating a 19 year old. I confessed back, I was actually in love with him, and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. That shut her up quick.

My dad…absolutely loved Kendall. They got along famously. They laughed at the same stupid jokes. They talked about hockey and football and baseball. Stuff I never got into.

When I finally woke up, I was convinced I was lying on my bed but when I heard chuckles I knew I was in my living room. I was facing the back of the couch still lying on Kendall's chest. I heard a familiar sounding voice on the TV and then more chuckles.

"What are you watching?" A hand wrapped in my hair while the other placed gently on my back.

"South Park. I figured out how to turn on your Blu-Ray player and put on Netflix." I yawned out and slowly turned my head to the side and saw the funny little characters.

"And you insisted on watching this one?" He laughed and rubbed my back slowly. It was an episode about the kindergarten teacher having sex with a student.

"This is hysterical! He's 5!" I pushed up and looked down at him. He was smiling ear to ear with fingers sill wrapped around my hair. "Maybe because you're hot, no one will care." I groaned out, and pushed my head back into his chest, yawning and wrapping my arms under his shoulders. "I think we should just stop caring."

"You want to tell people?" He was quiet and I looked back up at him. He smiled and shook his head.

"We don't have to parade it around or anything…I just don't want to walk on egg shells around you at school." I pushed up on him completely. His hands rested on my hips and smiled. "Do you know this is the first relationship I've been in where it wasn't about the sex?" His eyebrows were raised and I swallowed hard.

"Even if it meant I get fired and you get thrown out of school?" He laughed and nodded.

"We can live with Carlos and James." I put my head back on his chest and sighed. "Don't worry. Nothing can happen, except…everything going wrong." I groaned out and he chuckled squeezing my hips. "I'm just kidding."

We watched hours of mindless South Park until he fell back asleep. I got off of him completely and put a blanket over him. I made myself a pot of coffee, and sat back at the table. I sighed out and picked up another thesis paper.

4 cups of coffee and every thesis paper graded, later It was 6 in the morning. I looked over at Kendall from the table, and he was on his stomach, mouth open, small snores coming out. I laughed and walked out to him brushing hair off his forehead. He didn't open his eyes but moved his body and sighed.

"Come to bed with me…" He nodded and pushed himself up. His eyes were still closed so I wrapped around his waist and dragged him to my room. He fell face on the bed and smiled. I got in next to him, pulling the blanket up over us. "I finished grading." He pushed onto my chest and nodded, sighing out.

"Yay baby…" He said it in a yawn and I wrapped around his back. "I love you."


	16. Chapter 16: Kendall Stop

I felt a tap to my arm and sighed turning to Carlos. He pointed to the front and I saw Logan still writing notes on the board. His butt looked fantastic in his pants, and all I could think about was our conversation form the previous night.

He was fine with us being…us in public, at school. But after driving to school with him, he didn't act like it. It hurt a little but I guess I felt bad, because what if he did lose his job?

"Is everything alright?" Carlos whispered in my ear. I whispered back.

"Yes Carlos…I'm just…were just…"

"Mr. Knight. Mr. Garcia." Both of us looked up and he was staring at us, putting his glasses on the desk. "Is there something you did not understand about silent note taking?" I had never heard him talk like this. He sounded angry. Like serious angry.

"No sir." Carlos spoke for the both of us and he nodded.

"I want every note written down. Your midterms are coming up, and from your last paper and our discussions in class on the antagonist, none of you are passing my class. Not one single student." My heart dropped. That can't be. My last paper…it was amazing. I thought any way. "As this is an advanced class, if you do not pass the midterm you are kicked out. End of story." I caught his eyes but he quickly looked away. "So no talking. Just writing, and when you're done, come up to my desk and you will get your papers back. And if you would like you can schedule an appointment to talk about your grade." I saw a kid raise his hand in the front row and Logan raise his eyebrows. "Yes?"

"You're giving us way too much. How do you expect us to finish all this homework?" I looked at Logan and he shrugged his shoulders.

"You're college students Mr. Jones. If this is too much, you know where my door is." Logan stared him down. Yeah this was definitely a new Logan.

"Fine. I quit!" The kid slammed his book closed, and picked up his things walking out. Logan was unfazed and turned back to us.

"Is there anyone else who would like to get out of my class, and get into regular English 101?" I looked around and was shocked by how many kids were getting up. A total of 7 left. The rest of us, remain quite staring at him. "Okay get back to work, and come up when you're done." He turned and walked behind his desk sitting down.

I finished up my notes, at the same time Carlos did. We were the first and I let him go first. I stood behind him as Logan went over his C paper. He said he was just on the brink of failing and needed to bring it up fast before the midterm or else he would surly get kicked out. Carlos scheduled to meet up with him tomorrow to discuss extra credit. When he walked away, my heart dropped seeing my paper with an F on it. Logan looked up at me and shook his head.

"Did you even read the chapters I assigned?" He sounded…disappointed. Like he expected more from me. "And if not why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you ask for help?"

"I thought it was a great paper." He sat back at my challenge of his intelligence. "Why did I get an F?"

"You can schedule…"

"No Logan." It was loud enough for everyone to hear. He swallowed hard and got up from his desk.

"Keep working. Mr. Knight can I speak with you outside?" He picked up my paper and I followed him out, angry. He shut the door and turned to me.

"An F! I worked my ass off on that paper!" He crossed his arms over his chest and stared me down. "Explain yourself?!"

"Are you going to stop acting like a child and handle this like a mature adult?" That really hit a nerve. Yeah I get it. I'm 19. That didn't mean I was a moron. "Kendall, nothing in this paper talks about the similarities between the antagonist and the protagonist, which is exactly what the paper was about!" He poked the paper only angering me more. I continued to stare him down until he sighed. "Look…tonight we'll go over it, and work out the problems." I yanked the papers out of his hands and he backed away.

"Don't worry about it Logan. I'll just deal with it myself, because that's what an immature kid does. I reached for the knob but he grabbed my arm tight.

"No this is how an immature kid acts!" I turned to him and he was fuming. "What is your problem?!" I shoved him off of me, and walked into the classroom. Everyone had their eyes on me as I grabbed all of my stuff shoving it in my bag. I turned around and he was standing in the door way holding the door open. I walked out past him but again he grabbed my arm. His door shut loud and he spun me around. "What is wrong with you?!"

"You!" He rolled his eyes and I pushed him by his chest. "Admit it Logan! You are ashamed of us! Of me!" He laughed and I shook my head. "Is it really a crime if we held hands down the halls or we drove with each other to school, gave small kisses to each other before and after class?" He let go of me and clenched his jaw. "I'm sorry, I'm in love with you! And I'm sorry I'm an immature kid you don't' want anyone to know about!" I pushed him again and quickly turned away.

I wasn't crying like I normally would have. I was just plain old mad. He treated me like dirt. He treated me like I wasn't his boyfriend. He was ashamed! I threw myself on my bed in my empty dorm room and screamed in my pillow.

What had changed in him, since yesterday? He was fine with us "coming out" if you will. He let me hold him, tell him I love him, as if he was behind me 100% of the way. But he wasn't! He just…just wasn't!

I hadn't notice my roommate walk in, two hours later. I had just let my thoughts and my mind take over my whole being. Anger and hatred took over and all I wanted to do was hate and break up with Logan…but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

My roommate, Jeff walked to his bed and smiled at me.

I heard about you and Mr. Mitchell…" I fell back on my back and shook my head.

"What are you talking about?" I just assumed he was high, he usually is.

"Please the whole school knows you guys are dating." I shot up quick and he laughed at my reaction pulling his long stoner hair back into a pony tail. "Mr. Mitchell even told his classes, and said if anyone had a problem with it…he didn't care…or something. I don't know Jane didn't say she was there but trust the person who told her." He took his shoes off and laid back on his bed. "I got a wicked headache. I'll see you when I wake up." I nodded and he rolled on his side, facing away from me.

I walked out of te dorm quickly, and ran through the campus. I noticed more people staring at me, whispering in each others ears. I continued to run, until I got to the building where his classroom was. I ran down the hall running into a couple people, but not bothering to stop and apologize.

When I burst open the door, I was gasping for air, trying not to cry.

"Logan…I'm sorry!" I stopped half way to his desk seeing him sitting at it, with three guys sitting in front of him. All had suites on and stared at me weird. Logan quickly stood up, mouth open. "Oh…I didn't know you were…"

"Is this Kendall…Kendall Knight?" One of the guys stood up and walked over to me. Logan was already there and nodded.

"Yes sir." The guy nodded and put his hands in his pockets.

"Well…it seems we have a small problem then Mr. Mitchell." I saw Logan swallow hard and he glanced over at the other two guys. "We can't let this get out, and since the whole school already knows…I'm afraid we must act."

"You can't fire him!" I shouted it and I got a death glare from Logan, and a concerned look from the other guy.

"I don't think firing him is the answer either son." He sounded very condescending and it made me mad. "However, I'm afraid to say this, but you are going to be suspended from teaching for a while Logan." Logan's face fell and my heart broke. "We can't let anyone know our gay teacher was having an affair with one of his 19 year old students." The was only two words I heard from him. Gay, and affair.

"This isn't an affair." Logan put a hand on my shoulder and shook his head.

"Kendall just drop it. It's alright. I can handle it"

"Like hell it is!" Logan huffed and started pushing me to the door. "You're only suspending him because he's gay!" Logan stopped and looked back at the guy, who I still didn't know who it was. "You don't want people to know you hired a queer!"

"Kendall stop!" I was shoved to the door but I gently pushed past him. The guy shook his head and looked back at the other two, who stood up.

"You just got yourself suspended as well Mr. Knight." I shrugged my shoulders and Logan got in front of me.

"No. Don't suspend him. This is all me."

"A relationship is a two way street Logan." He glared back at me eyebrows raised.

"Kendall stop talking!" I pressed my lips together and crossed my arms over my chest.

"For the next two weeks, I don't want to see either of you on campus. Not until this is cleared up." He looked at Logan an put a hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry I have to do this Logan."

"No you're not." I said it under my breath but they both sighed. They shook hands and walked out. I gave every single one of them a dirty look as they walked out. At first Logan didn't turn around. When he did he looked pissed. "Sorry I lost my cool."

"No you're not." He mocked me and walked to his desk. He pushed things in his bag and put his coat on.

"Logan." He shook his head and put up his hand.

"Lets just go home, and deal with this later, please. I have a horrible headache." I nodded and followed him out of his classroom. We drove quietly to his house. He was definitely sad, yet for some reason he wasn't acting like it. As soon as we got in his house, I stayed by the door, while he walked into his bedroom. I felt horrible. I felt sick. And then he walked out…and I felt better.

He had his blanket and two pillows he threw them on the couch and pointed to it. I sat down and kicked off my shoes. I sat for a couple of minutes. He came back from the kitchen, holding two sodas and a bowl of what looked like chips. He set them down and sat right next to me, lifting my arm so he could lay his head on my chest. I put my arm around him and he sighed. He turned on his TV and put on a random movie. He covered both of us with his blanket and wrapped around me.

"I love you." My heart definitely exploded hearing that. I squeezed around him, kissing his head.

"I love you too babe."

**SO THIS STORY HAS A LOT OF FOLLWOERS, WHICH I CAN'T THANK YOU GUYS ENOUGH! YOU'RE REVIEWS AND SUPPORT ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU! SO I'M SETTING IT UP FOR SOME REALLY JUICY DRAMA AND I HOPE ALL OF YOU LOVE IT. ALSO I MAY HAVE MENTIONED I WASN'T GOING TO GET INTO TOO MUCH SEX…BUT I THINK IT MIGHT BE HAPPENING SOON! I HAVE A PROBLEM OKAY!**

**THANKS AGAIN!**


	17. Chapter 17: Ready Or Not

"_Were getting reports now out of Yale University, on scandalous proportions. It has been confirmed that one of the teachers, Mr. Mitchell, has been having a relationship with one of his students, Kendall Knight. Most people who are talking about this, are disturbed only for the fact that they are both gay. No one seems to care about the fact of the 10 year age difference but…" _I shut the TV off and he looked over at me. I tossed the remote on the coffee table and walked out into the kitchen.

It's only been a day since the both of us were suspended. Fortunately I was suspended with pay, but Kendall was missing way to much school. I worked around my kitchen, starting to make us dinner.

"Carlos told me, no one is going to your class. NO one wants the sub." I shook my head, shredding some cheese. "He also said a bunch of kids, gay and straight are getting together to protest." He was next to me, and picked up the spatula and tossed the hamburger around in the pan.

"Well I appreciate it, but I'd rather not know more kids are getting kicked out of school." He laughed and I looked up at him. He turned to me and shook his head.

"Everyone is doing it because it's not fair Logan. You shouldn't have been suspended." I put the cheese and shredder down and turned to him.

"The Dean, and the board of education, all believe that I am encouraging other teachers, and I don't just mean professors. I mean high school, middle school teachers to date their young students." He snorted and continued to move the meat around. "NO one understand that you are well over 18, or that it's mutual. And it's not like were having sex." He turned to me slowly and I looked down at the cheese. I knew my cheeks were red. I could feel them.

"Would it have been worse if we were?"

"Absolutely." I saw him swallow hard as he reached up for the taco seasoning. "But after two weeks things will go…somewhat back to normal. I promise." Was that a promise I could honestly keep?

We ate our tacos in silent. My mind was spinning. If people assumed we were having sex, which I bet a lot were, I would definitely lose my job. He offered to clean up after and I went into the living room, seeing a text from James.

"_I have something you need to know, is it alright if I come over? With Carlos of course…" _I heard a soft singing and looked up. There was nothing on in my house. Nothing except the water running in the kitchen. And then I recognized his voice. Kendall was singing…beautifully.

"_Tomorrow." _It was all I text back, too amazed by the angelic voice coming from my kitchen. I walked in slowly, and stood behind him listening to his voice.

"I didn't know you could sing?" He jumped and a little bit of water flew in the air. He turned and his cheeks were beat red. I laughed and puled myself up on my counter.

"You eavesdropper." He turned back to the sink sighing out.

"Sing more…"

"No…I'm a horrible singer."

"Not from what I heard…" He shook his head and I leaned back, folding my hands together putting them in my lap. "Please…"

"Begging isn't cute on you Logan." I smiled and watched him fill up the dishwasher from our dinner. He started it, after it was full and wiped down the counter. He folded the dish towel and set on the bar on the oven door. He turned to me and shook his head, walking out. I stopped him, with my leg, and pulled him to me. When he was between my legs I wrapped around him with both my legs and arms. "Let's go cuddle on the couch." I shook my head and forced him to stop talking with my lips on his. He kissed back, greedily, putting his hands on my thighs. I ran my fingers up through his hair tugging.

We made out, but it was short lived. He pushed away, smiling ear to ear. "Sticking your tongue down my throat won't convince me either." He kissed my nose and quickly walked out of the kitchen, leaving me breathless and little bothered.

I walked out into the living room and sat down rough, next to him. He giggled and leaned in. I pulled away and he sighed. I scooted away from him, to the end of the couch but he was right next to me. His lips attached to my neck, as his hand invaded my pants. I closed my eyes and put my head back. I heard a groan rip through my mouth and he smiled into kissing my neck.

I turned my head and pulled his face into mine. I kissed him hard, letting him turn my body, so it was flat on the couch. He hovered over me, never breaking the kiss. I moved down his mouth to his jaw and kissed down the line. He kissed my forehead and I let my hands move to the hem of his shirt, slowly pushing up loving the feeling of his skin under my palms. I made it all the way up to his nipples before he pushed up, his phone ringing. He sat on my lap pulling it out. He read something, panting a bit, and then looked down at me.

"Carlos just text me." I raised my eyebrows and sat up on my elbows. "He said his science teacher…Mr. Grey…he just got married to one of his students. He's 44 and she's 20!" I pushed up all the way, him falling back on the couch. "He said Mr. Grey is calling a meeting for the Dean to get you back to work and me back to school."

"No one had said anything about them?" He shook his head and typed back on his phone. "So it is because were gay?" He looked up quick, his shoulders falling. He put his phone on the table and cupped my face.

"I don't care what they think." I put my hands on his and nodded.

"I know you don't…but everyone is going to see you differently. Everyone is going to treat you differently." He laughed and shook his head.

"I was an open gay in high school. I know how this works Logan." He raised his eyebrows and I slowly nodded my head. "Also…I think I'm ready." My eyes widened and he smiled shyly. "Only if you want to…" I grabbed his hips and kissed his open neck. "s that a yes?" I looked up and nodded.

"That's a hell yes baby."


	18. Chapter 18: You Brainwashed Him

He laid flat on his back, hands shaking. I climbed over his naked body with my own naked body. He reached up, holding onto my neck, gently. I leaned down and kissed him softly. His fingers snaked through my hair, sending shivers up and down my body. I pulled away looking into his beautiful bright, piercing green eyes.

"You're sure?" He nodded, though swallowed hard. I smiled and reached over to my nightstand, grabbing a box of condoms and lube. I wasn't a top, but I was going to be for him for the first time. It was…I guess…the first time for both of us.

I slid the condom on my fully erect cock and closed my eyes at the feeling. I made sure it was on, completely and looked down at him. I grabbed the bottle of lube and opened it but stopped.

"You're sure?" He laughed and closed his eyes.

"Babe if you ask me that one more time I will force you inside me."

"Sexy…" He looked up and bit his bottom lip, making it so much harder to keep calm, and shove inside him. I squeezed some on my dick, and rubbed it around. I again squeezed some on my fingers and tossed the bottle to the side. "Lift up your legs." He did as he was told and I let him rest them on my shoulders. I sighed out and put the fingers at his entrance. "Just hit me or something if it becomes too much…alright?" He nodded and put his hand on one of my arms. I slowly put one finger in, watching his body, writhe, and tense up. I pushed it in completely, knowing that the faster it happens, the faster the pain will go away. I moved my finger out, and he gasped. I put it back in and he fluttered his eyes open. We locked eyes as I began the in-out, in-out movement of my finger. After a while, and I knew he was used to the feeling, he squeezed my arm, wanting more. I slowly, and carefully pushed another finger in, picking up the speed. He moaned out, rather loud, making me lick my lips.

"Logan…" He kept moaning my name and it was my cue to pull out and put myself inside him. He groaned at the lost of contact, and looked up at me. I smiled down and positioned myself at him. I bent down, with my free hand putting it by his head. I kissed him quick on the lips, and looked down between our bodies. I was…overtaken with lust. As I pushed in him he let out a cry and I put my forehead don his. I pushed in quickly…he screamed loud. I let go of myself and put my other hand under his shoulder. I kissed his forehead and didn't move again.

"I'm so sorry." I looked down at him and he turned his head. I kissed his ear, his hair, his temple, the side of his mouth…every inch of skin I could find. I gently moved his legs, wrapping them around my body. He let out a groan and I saw a single tear roll out of the corner of his eye. "I'm so sorry baby…so sorry…" He opened his eyes and turned back to face me.

"It's alright…can you keep going?" I nodded and slowly rolled my hips back, pulling out of him, but not completely. When I pushed back in, his legs squeezed around me and he arched his back. Another groan escaped his mouth and it drove me wild. "Faster baby…" I picked up the speed, watching his face for any signs of pain or annoyance. His moans became softer, full of passion and love. He wasn't in pain. He was in love.

I gto lost in my own world, thrusting in him hard and fast, I didn't know he was cumming until he screamed my name. I opened my eyes and watch him pant and breath hard, sweat glistening on his forehead. I kissed his lips as I continued to thrust him in. He held the sides of my face, pushing me away so he could breath out, and try to catch his breath.

"Fuck…Logan…"

"You're…you're so fucking tight." I put my face in his neck and squeezed my eyes shut tight. His arms wrapped around my neck, making me go deeper, harder, and faster. "Almost there baby…almost…there." A couple more thrusts and all I was seeing was white. My body shook over his, as I convulsed and slurred my words together. I cussed hard into his ear, as he scratched at my back.

I slowly opened my eyes and pushed myself up staring down at him. He was sweating, and still panting. His eyes were closed and a small smiled on his face. I gently pulled out of him, and rolled onto my back next to him.

"God damn-it Kendall…" He chuckled and I looked over at him. "You…were...fucking ridiculous…"

"Is that a bad thing?" I laughed and shook my head.

"No…so fucking good." He laughed and rolled on his side, resting his head on his elbow. "How are you feeling?"

"Not going to lie…it hurts pretty bad." I smiled and rolled onto my side.

"I know…it will get better, trust me…" He nodded and sighed. "I know…this will probably fuck everything up…but I think we should keep this to ourselves."

"I do too." I raised my eyebrows and he smiled. "I don't want anyone to know what we just did because they'll just be jealous I got you." I laughed and pulled him into my chest. He let me wrap around him, and I kissed his hair. "I love you Logan."

"I love you too Kendall."

We fell asleep, him faster than me. He was exhausted and sore, and I understood. I fell quickly after him, but it wasn't for very long because I heard yelling. A lot of it. I sat up, Kendall still asleep, because he sleeps like a dead person. I got up, slipped on some boxers and walked out into my living room. Everything was locked up, but the yelling was louder. I walked to my patio and opened the curtain. I opened the glass door and sure enough the yelling was right outside. I walked out on the patio and looked down. I gasped at the, what looked like 100 people down below yelling and screaming. Some had signs and from the little light, I saw one that read. "Gays are going to hell." My stomach twisted reading another one. "You brainwashed him!" I walked quickly in my house, shutting the glass door and locking it. I closed the blinds and turned around. Kendall was stinging in the middle of the room, wearing only a pair of my sweats.

"What's going on?" I nodded and picked up my phone dialing 911. Kendal walked to the door and I spoke quickly to the operator who told me officers were already on their way, from noise complaints. I hung up and saw Kendall looking out on the balcony looking horrified.

"Kendall just come inside. You don't need to deal with this." I pulled him and closed the door quick. "The cops are on the way…are you alright?" He blinked a couple of times and nodded.

"Yeah…I'm…I'm fine." I nodded and walked him back into the room. We got on the bed and sat against the headboard. The yelling form the people underneath were so loud it was giving me an awful headache. Kendall was pale, and looked near tears, so I pulled him under my arm. He quickly crawled on my body and pushed the side of his head on my chest. He quickly brought his hand to his ear and covered it, hard. I wrapped around him laying my head on his.


	19. Chapter 19: Move In

His palm was sweaty, clutching onto mine. When I turned to him, he was looking at the ground, face an eerie shade of white and green. I squeezed his hand and he closed his eyes. I looked back at the empty hall, and to the closed door in front of us.

All I could think about was the night before, and how loud, and mean those people were. People actually thought I was brainwashing Kendall, into being gay. The people who were outside my house, yelling and screaming their heads off were all from the Church down the street. I get it, God hates me. But he does not hate Kendall. And Kendall doesn't deserve any of this.

I stood up quick, Kendall's hand falling out of my own seeing my lawyer walking out, smile wide.

"I have some very good news for you Logan." I swallowed hard and he glanced at Kendall, but looked quickly up at me. "You still have your job, and he can still go to school. I threatened with a lawsuit, and they backed down. From what I gathered, no they don't have a problem with you dating a student. It is because you're gay and that bothered them. They were going to fire you, but they don't want to look like assholes or pay out more than 2 million." He shook his head and handed me an inch thick folder. "Although I would highly recommend a lawsuit I know you don't want any more attention." I nodded and he sighed. "Well…I'm going to count this as a win then and not bill you. Count it as…on the house kind of thing…" I opened my mouth to say I would pay, but he raised a hand and smiled. "Call me any time Kid." He turned around and walked away. AT the same time the door across the hall opened and the dean of the school walked out, saw me, and quickly walked away.

"Can we go home?" I looked down quick, and Kendall was still looking at the floor. I picked up his hand and pulled him out avoiding too many people.

Home just wasn't the same now. There were still signs all around outside, and the worst was the note on my door. "DIE FAGGOTS, DIE." I took it off quickly, so Kendall wouldn't see it and walked us in. He went straight to the bathroom, and shut himself in. I slummed on the couch, unable to move, or think. I closed my eyes and laid my head back.

What could I do to make all of this better? How could I change a whole nations mind? I couldn't, people are just assholes, and I need to get over it right?

I looked up, hearing the bathroom door open. He walked out, taking his sweater off, and throwing it on the chair next to the couch. He kicked his shoes off and quickly got on the couch, right next to me. He wrapped his arms around my own left arm/ His head rested on my shoulder and he let out a soft, childlike sigh.

"Are you alright?" He nodded but I didn't believe it. "You want a drink?"

"I'd take a coke if you anymore. I may have drunk all of them."

"No, dork. I meant would you like a glass of wine, a beer, and shot of Jack?" He slowly looked up at me and I laughed. "I will get you…well us some wine." I kissed his head and got up, walking into the kitchen, kicking off my shoes.

"I thought it was illegal?" I turned after bringing down two wine glasses and smiled.

"It is…but I won't tell if you don't." He giggled and nodded. I grabbed a bottle my mom bought me this past weekend. "Besides…I really don't want to drink alone. "I poured in a decent amount into both glasses and handed him one. "Also I know you've had alcohol before." He again giggled and sipped at the wine. He leaned against the counter and pulled his phone out of his pocket, putting it on the counter behind him.

"So you're lawyer is pretty awesome." I nodded and got up on my counter.

"I've only ever needed him once, but we stayed friends."

"Why'd you need him?" I took a sip of my wine and put it on the counter after.

"Well it was my first year of teaching. I was a dumb naïve idiot, who thought after dating a model, male model to be exact, that no one would recognize me. But they did, and some of the kids, a group of pretentious assholes, cornered me in the parking lot, and pretty much beat the shit out of me." His eyebrows raised and I smiled. "So…I called a lawyer and pressed charges on every single one of them, and he got all four of them thrown in jail, for 6 years I think." He breathed out hard and I laughed. "I've dealt with ignorant jerks before Kendall. These people now…first of all, all they are, are bible thumping right wing dicks, who they themselves, are stuck in the closet. Second, I don't care what anyone thinks about us. About you. Because I love you, and I'm not going to let something like that ruin our lives together." He swallowed hard and walked to me, pushing y legs apart. He gently kissed my lips, and pulled away, only an inch.

"I love you too." I set my glass of wine down and cupped the sides of his face.

"Really?" HE nodded and chuckled. "So what would you say if I asked you to move in with me?" He laughed and slightly turned his head to kiss my right palm.

"I'd say that better not be how you're asking." I sat back and sighed.

"Would you like em to spell it out?"

"Maybe?" I let go of his face and he laughed, setting his glass down next to mine.

"Kendall, would you like to move in with me?"

"I'll think about it." I crossed my arms over my chest and he put his hands on the outsides of my legs. "I mean…I'll have to check with my two other boyfriends, my husband and my wife." I squeezed tight around his legs and he leaned in, attaching his lips to my neck. "Of course. I'd love to move in with you." I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. His arms snaked around my waist and pulled me close to the edge of the counter. "I must warn…" He kissed all around my neck and I closed my eyes smiling. "I am a very messy person."

"I can change that."

"Good luck." I pushed him away and he gave me the sexiest, cutest smirk in the world. "Seriously…my mom gave up on cleaning up after me when I turned 7." As I opened my mouth to say something, his phone vibrated across the counter behind him, making both of us jump. He reached over quick and answered it. "Hello?" As the other person on the other end talked, he traced little designs on my knee, and thigh with his free hand. "Carlos…Carlos slow down. What?...well duh I know, I was there." He rolled his eyes and pushed his forehead onto my chest. I ran a hand through his hair, and nibbled at his free ear. "Don't mess around with that Carlos…you're serious? Of course I don't believe you!" I kissed his head and rubbed up and down his back. "Well if it is true I want to see the ring on your finger." I stopped moving and he looked up nodding. "Fine send me a picture…bye." He hung up quick and laughed. "James asked Carlos to marry him." I laughed and shook my head.

"I'll believe that when I see it."

"That's what I said!" I ran my hand sup his chest and stopped on his neck, tracing along his jaw line with my thumbs. I heard a soft ring from my front pocket and dropped one hand, grabbing my phone. It was James and I giggled answering it.

"I don't believe it."

"Yeah that's what I've heard. You're a dick. I really did. I bought him a big fat ring, and we're getting married at the end of December."

"Get the fuck out of here." He chuckled and I heard Carlos in the background.

"No that's an ugly picture!"

"So you just had to one up me huh? I date a 19 year old, and almost get fired…" Kendall sighed and pushed into me, wrapping around me. "And you have to marry one?"

"Basically…I think there's something else to like…oh I don't know…I love him?" I smiled and kissed Kendall's hair.

"I'm sincerely happy for you James. And I wish nothing but happiness for the two of you."

"Thanks Loges." We went quite, and all I could think about was the day I asked Kendall to marry me. "Well I have to go, because we have a plane to catch so we can tell his parents." I laughed and again kissed Kendall.

"Have fun. NO mile high club pervert." He laughed and we said our goodbyes. Before I could react I was being taken off the counter and carried down the hall to my…our room. He tossed me on the bed, and quickly crawled over top me.

"So when can I move in?" I laughed and let him unbuckle my pants.

"Whenever you please." He ripped my pants off and tossed them at my closet. He nodded and quickly jumped off, working on his own pants. I sat up, never taking my eyes off him, and took off the rest of my clothes except my boxers. I lay back, giving him permission to do whatever he wished.

He started at y knee and kissed up to my inner thigh as eh crawled on the bed. "So…" He looked up at me before planting a soft, warm kiss to my hardening cock, through my boxers. "If I move in…can I ask a favor?" I closed my eyes feeling his skilled hand work around my dick.

"Whatever…whatever you want."

"Can you get rid of that box of James's stuff?" I laughed and pushed up on my elbows. He sat back on his feet and put his hands in his lap. "I know…he doesn't mean anything like that to you anymore…"

"I already gave it all back to him." He went quiet and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, trying his hardest not to show to much excitement. "The only reason I had that box was because every time I saw him, I forgot to give it to him." He smiled wide at this and gently pushed me back down straddling over me and planting kisses all over my chest. "Any other favors?" He looked up and sighed.

"I think that's it." I grabbed a hold of his hips and flipped us over, so I was on top. "Unless you would let me imprison you here for the rest of our lives?" He raised his sexy eyebrows and I smiled.

"I don't have a problem with that."

**SORRY THIS ONE CAME A LITTLE LATE…GOT SUPER BUSY! SCHOOL AND WORK…THEY WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME, BUT IM FREE THIS WEEKEND SO I WIL BE FURIOSULY WRITING!**

**ALSO…JUST WANT TO PUT THIS OUT THERE, I WOULD LIKE TO STRAT ANOTHER KOGEN STORY, SO IF ANY OF YOU LOVELY READERS HAVE SOME…IDEAS…INPUTS…I'M ALL EARS!**

**LOVE ALL OF YOU!**


	20. Chapter 20: Who I Am

I watched him lift his head, the back and left side messy, hair sticking up at random places. His eyes were half open, looking at the steaming cup of coffee. He then turned and smiled as soon as he saw me sitting on the edge at the bottom.

"Good morning!" I was probably way to cheerful for him, but…I loved this man. He laughed and put his head back down closing his eyes.

"It is way too early, especially for not going to work." I smiled and crawled over his body, pulling the blankets down a bit to expose his muscular bare back. I straddled his legs, just under his butt and rubbed his back.

"Well you don't have to get up…but I'm making breakfast." I leaned down and kissed each shoulder blade.

"That coffee smells delicious." I nodded and kissed the back of his neck, up to his cheek, his temple and finally planting a kiss to his nose. "What's for breakfast?"

"Cinnamon rolls." He smiled wide and sighed.

"Perfect." I laughed and rested my forehead on his back. "What time is it?"

"7 I think…." He nodded.

"Why are you up so early? You're not a morning person…" He sounded tired and I closed my eyes thinking of the hour ago I had received a phone call from my mom. She had been watching the news and heard about Logan and I and was upset I didn't tell her. She also demanded we come out to see her so she could meet Logan. "Where'd you go cutie pie?" I looked up quick hearing him and smiled.

"Sorry…uhm…well I woke up because I had to pee and then I checked my phone and…" He stopped me by lifting up, practically tossing em off the bed.

"Is something burning?" My stomach turned and I ran out of the room fast, hating not setting an alarm.

"Shit…shit…shit…shit…Crap!" I opened the oven door, and smoke came out. I grabbed the oven mitts and took out the pan with the now, black cinnamon rolls. "Damn!" I shut the oven door and put the pan on the counter. "It's ruined!" I slummed against the counter and tossed the oven mitt on the counter next to the pan. Logan quickly walked in, turned off the oven and waved away smoke.

"It's okay. It's not a big deal babe."

"Yes it is!" He turned to me and smiled.

"I think it's cute you made me breakfast and I appreciate it but it's okay they burned…I'll still eat them." I shook my head and grabbed the oven mitt and quickly grabbed the pan. "You better not throw them away." I put the pan over the trash can and he put his hands on his hips. "Kendall…" I turned the pan and none of them came out. I heard giggles form him and I gently placed the pan on the counter. Again. "Did you put Pam on the pan before you put them in?" I shook my head and watched him, hold back a huge fit of laughter. "Well where's the icing?" I pointed to the small package on the counter and he lifted it up tearing off the corner. "So what were you saying about your phone?" He smeared the icing all over the blackened dough an di sighed.

"My mom called." He looked up, tossed the empty package in the trash and grabbed a fork, sticking it in the dough. "It's too hot to eat…" But he shoved a fork full in his mouth and chewed it looking at me. "My mom heard about us over the news. She's not very happy with me…but she said as long that I'm happy she doesn't care." He nodded and ate more. It was kind of grossing me out, because…he was eating burnt dough with white icing over it. Yummy.

"So…" He swallowed and stuck the fork in, leaving it in the center. "What now?" I looked at the floor and felt my body tense up.

"She wants to meet you." I peeked up at him and he nodded, picking up his fork and putting in more gross 'cinnamon roll'. "You don't have to eat that just to make me feel better." He laughed and shook his head.

"I'm not…" He spoke with his mouth full and I rolled my eyes looking away. "So is she coming here…wait…where does your mom live? Where are you from? Where is your dad?" It was one question right after the other and it made me nausea. He barely knew anything about me, yet we were going to move in together. "Wow I am an awful boyfriend." I shook my head and he put a hand in the oven mitt and grabbed the still hot ass pan and walked out. "Let's talk." He disappeared down the hall and I followed hating to explain everything to him.

He propped himself up against the head board with the pan in his lap, fork in one hand, coffee cup in the other. I sat across from him, with my legs crossed head in my hands.

"My parents split when I was 12, and my little sister was 5."

"What's your sisters name?"

"Katie." It made me smile thinking about her. I hadn't realized how much I in fact missed her. "Anyway…my dad just packed up one day and said he had enough, and left. The next week my mom says my last name is changed and I'm a Knight instead of a Smith." I looked up, and he was slowly chewing staring at me. "I'm from L.A. by the way." He nodded and sipped his coffee. "Anything else?" He laughed and shrugged his shoulder, setting his cup next to him.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" I shrugged my shoulders back, and brought my legs up to my chest, hugging around them. "You know…" He leaned over setting his cup and the pan on the nightstand. He then crawled over to me kissing my neck. I closed my eyes and pushed into him. "If you wanted to…we could write things about ourselves and then give it to each other."

"You sound like my English professor..." I mumbled it and felt a tiny bite to my neck. "You;; tell me about your life?" It was practically a whisper and he nodded still kissing my neck. "Okay let's do it." He pulled away and practically jumped off the bed. I quickly moved to the top of the bed and got under the covers, but sat up against the head board. He grabbed two pads of paper and two pens. He walked back into the bed and I pulled the covers back for him. He handed me the paper and the pen and kissed my cheek. "So were telling everything?"

"I think we should. Were going to spend the rest of our lives together right?" My heart dropped and I nodded my head. "Then let's get everything out, Right now." I nodded and looked at the bank sheet of paper. Another kiss to my head and I smiled.

"You'll have more than me."

"Is that an age joke?" I nodded and again a kiss this one, longer. I turned my head and his lips furiously attacked my own and one of my hands automatically went to hold the back of his head. We kissed, only caring about each other. When we pulled away we looked in each other's eyes and he sighed. "Just write." I laughed and turned back to my blank sheet. "You're getting graded."

"You're so funny." His hand gently squeezed my thigh as he placed one last, gentle kiss to my left temple.


	21. Chapter 21: New Haven To LA

"We should join the mile high club…" He nibbled on my ear and I sighed looking up from my book. I turned to him and he gave me the cutest grin in the world. "Please…"

"I am not having sex in a plane ride on the way to meet your mom. You're out of your mind Kendall." He giggled and unbuckled his seatbelt. "Where are you going?" He got up, turned to me, and climbed over my legs bending down, kissing my lips.

"Bathroom. I'll be right back." I nodded and watched him walk down the tiny aisle. He was so tall it was funny to see him walk down such a little aisle. I turned back to my book and sunk in my seat.

I didn't tell Kendall I absolutely hated flying, mainly because I didn't want him to think I was making up excuses not to meet his mom. I was nervous. Extremely. Because she bought us the tickets the minute after she got off the phone with Kendall and now were on a plan, 7 hours later. And it was a long flight! All the way to L.A. I knew…just knew I was going to make a fool of myself and make his mom hate me. I just had that effect. James's parents hated me. Mostly because they didn't think I was good enough for their son, because I was also a son. I made horrible first impressions with parents, and the fact that she already knows I teach him English and am 11 years older probably didn't help my case.

"That must be a really good book." I looked up from my thoughts and watched him squeeze back between my legs and get back in his seat.

"Why are we on such a small plane?" My cu astraphobia was setting in. Another thing I didn't tell him.

"It's my dad's own private company." I turned to him and he picked up the sky mall magazine.

"Your dad has his own plane company?" He nodded but kept quiet. Obviously he didn't want to talk about his dad. Understandable. "So what does your mom do?"

"She is a caterer. She does a bunch of famous parties in L.A." I again nodded. His life seems so fabulous compared to mine. I was the nerdy kid who live in a modest sized house, with a dog named spot, and parents who have been together for over 35 years. I looked back down at my book and he sighed. "We should exchange out lives." I glanced at him confused and he took out a thick stack of paper. I smiled and closed my book putting it in my lap and taking out my own very thick stack. We exchanged and he kissed my cheek before silently reading to himself.

His started with when he was two he climbed out of his crib and crawled all the way to the front door. His dad hadn't seen him do it, he thought he was asleep so when his mom came home, she bashed him in the head with the door. He still has a scar on his forehead. I told myself to check for it later.

There were little things about his first kiss with a girl in the 4th grade and then his first kiss with a boy in the 7th grade. He revealed how he got aq bunch of scars on his body. He told me he always wanted a family so he could be a better one then how is family was.

He said he loved when his baby sister was born because he got to be a big brother. He loves his sister, and they tell each other everything.** EVERYTHING**! His sister is his biggest fan and he tries to be the best role model he can be for her. He gets really over protective over her, especially because their da dis rarely around and when he left for college, the saddest part was leaving her.

He doesn't have a great relationship with his mom, and he isn't sad about that. She was strongly against him being gay but it grew on her because he guessed Katie gave her a stern talking too. When he was a sophomore he got beat up in the boys locker room because that was when he came out. He had to have 7 stiches in the back of his neck because the guys threw him through glass.

I had to look over at him. He was smiling as his eyes read line after line of my life. He looked quick at me and noticed me staring. He turned fully and raised an eyebrow.

"Questions?"

"Let em see the back of your neck." He chuckled but turned his head and moved his hair around. "What happened to the guys? Did they get in trouble?" I traced over the scar and he shook his head.

"No. I guess beating up fag's counts as a sport." I smack the back of his head and he turned ot me. "What was that for?" I looked back down at the paper.

"Don't use that word." He sighed and kissed my ear.

"Sorry…" He blew in it and i nudged him away.

The next part was him saying he got smart and after he got his ass kicked he hung out with mostly girls, and that helped him go through the rest of school. His senior prom he took his best friend, Ashley. The next day he got his letter of acceptance to Yale.

I read through all 4 papers of his life in an hour. I was clearly a faster reader because he was only on number two out of my 7.

"You don't have to read all of it." I felt so embarrassed. I rubbed his inner thigh and he slapped my hand away.

"Shh. Read your book if you're done. I'm not, so busy yourself." I huffed and sunk low in my seat picking my book back up.

The flight was 6 hours long, and we were getting really close. Like 20 minutes outside L.A. He finally finished and I put my book back in my carry on.

"So are you bored with me?" I was looking down trying to squeeze the book back in and a hand rubbed my back.

"I can't believe you never told me half this stuff." I sat back and he snaked his arm around my waist. I turned to him and he kissed me hard. I reached up, running my hand up the side of his face, and then up through his hair.

"Mommy! Look at those men!" I pulled away quick and saw the little boy sitting in front of us pointing at us and grinning a toothless grin. He looked no older than 7. "Why aren't you kissing girls?"

"Johnny! Sit down!" His mom pulled him back in his seat and Kendall laughed, kissing my temple. The captain came over saying we were landing in L.A. ahead of schedule and that we would have a little turbulence, because of a storm. I quickly gripped the seat handles and Kendall placed his hand, lazily over mine.

"Yeah you could have told me you had a fear of flying and were claustrophobic." I glanced sideways at him and he smiled putting his head back. "We could have had a road trip."

"You're mom already paid for the tickets." He snorted and looked out his window. I tried to calm down, but it got really bouncy really fast and my stomach was in knots. All I could picture was falling from the sky to a certain death. "I might take you up on that when we go back." He chuckled and clutched my hand, telling me know he was there.

As soon as the wheels hit the ground, I just wanted to be off this stupid metal bird. That's why as soon as we were on that terminal I could let go of his hand. He chuckled and lightly gripped my hand.

"Your mom is going to hate me."

"Oh well." I looked up at him as he walked us down to baggage claim. "She's not the most friendly person, or nicest so don't take it personally. Also don't be surprised if when we get there we get in a fight." I nodded and tried to think of something…anything to make him feel better. Nothing came to mind. Except three simple words.

"I love you." He looked down and scrunched his busy eyebrows.

"I know." I laughed and leaned up kissing him. I didn't feel so weird kissing him here. It's L.A. for Christ's sake. We pulled away and he smiled.

"I was just stating facts." He laughed and pushed his hand in my back pocket. "So should i take some money out for a cab?" He shook his head and pulled out keys.

"My mom had a car dropped off for us. I was going to take you sightseeing first. Show you where I grew up." I couldn't help but smile. We stopped in front of the baggage claim and I rested my head on his shoulder. "Does that sound good?" I wrapped around his torso and sighed.

"Sounds fantastic."


	22. Chapter 22: Red Ear

I watched as he let his head hang out the window, letting the wind whip through his hair. He looked like a child. He looked adorable.

I was driving down the high way, taking him to my favorite spot in the whole world (besides being in his arms. God I'm cheesy.) I found this spot when I got my drivers license. Usually I had Katei with me, but this was special.

I drove out onto the sand and I turned the car off. I looked over at him and he was untying his boots and slipping off his socks.

"What are you doing?" He glanced at me and laughed as he rolled up his pant legs.

"DO you know how long it's been since I've been at the beach?" Without another word he jumped out of the convertible and ran to the shore. I slowly got out, and watched him let the waves crash against his body. When I got next to him, trying to avoid getting wet, his eyes were closed and he was breathing in deep. I wrapped around him from behind and rested my chin on his head. I kissed his ear and he sighed, putting his arms on mine. "I've always wanted to live on the beach. Just a tiny little house with the essentials so I could write. All day. Everyday." I squeezed tighter around him and he sighed. "Is this what you wanted to show me?" I shook my head and swiftly picked him up bridal style. He let out a tiny yelp and glared at me. "Put me down. You'll throw out your back." I chuckled and started walking along the shore.

"Close your eyes." He laughed and shook his head, I sighed and stopped walking. "Please?" He narrowed his eyes and finally shut them. I again started walking and he wrapped his arms around my neck.

"What's the point of being at the beach if I can't even see it?" I managed to pinch his butt and he let out a yelp and wiggled in my arms. "You're a punk."

"Shush." He sighed and pushed his face into my neck. When I spotted my place I smiled.

It was just a little hole in the side of the cliff. But it was my hole. Katie and I would come here everyday after school so we didn't have to start our homework right away. We usually ate IN-N-OUT burgers, animal style. It was my most favorite place in L.A.

I finally set him down and he sighed.

"Open your eyes." He did and looked around. His mouth opened and he walked inside, running his hands along the wall.

"I know I'm going to sound like a girl…but this is absolutely breathtakingly, beautiful." I laughed and walked in behind him, sitting down fast, looking out at the ocean. He was quickly sitting next to me, pulling his legs up to his chest. He dug his toes into the sand and let out a small peaceful sigh. "I can't believe this is where you grew up. You're so lucky." I shook my head and looked over at him. "You don't think so?"

"Well I loved living here…but I was over exposed to the "good life" so to speak. I don't really know how to live a normal life. I don't ever really have to work for anything. My parents money will never run out, and I mean never." One of his hands rubbed on my thigh and leaned into him resting my head on his shoulder. The sun was going down, so it gave off an orange/pink hue over the clear water. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and rested his head on top of mine.

"Whatever you could ever want…I would give you. Even if that means letting you get it yourself." That was all I really needed to hear. Actually Logan could have said nothing, and I would have still reacted the same way. I turned my head fast and pushed him on his back. His face was priceless just in complete shock. I quickly climbed over top him and attacked his lips. He quickly turned away so I attached my lips to his soft pale neck. "Kendall what time do we have to meet your mom?" I pushed my hands up his shirt and he groaned out.

"It doesn't matter…stop squirming." And he was. His hands were scratching at my back and form his legs moving under me, I could tell he was trying to gain the upper hand and take control. I was so new at this, I let him.

Quickly he flipped me over and I put my hands behind my head and sighed out. He was working on my zipper and like a pro he pulled my still limp cock out. Just him touching it, sent shivers down my back and I could feel my self getting hard.

"This is going to be quick." He slowly pumped up and down my dick and I laughed. He glanced up raised an eyebrow and I propped up on my elbows.

"Maybe we should just go to my moms." He stopped fast and pulled away, pained. "Not because I don't want…" But he was already shaking his head smiling.

"Sorry…I let my animalistic behaviors take over." He moved over to me, and did the sexiest thing in the world. He bent down and kissed the head, softly like one would to a sleeping child. He pushed me back in my boxers and zipped my pants back up. "You know…" He stood up and offered his hands. I grabbed them and he pulled me up. "Before we leave here…were having sex on the beach." I let out a low growl like noise and watched him walk out.

"You're a cock tease!" I followed out and he was walking through the water, back towards my car. I chased after him, only making him scream and run away running into the car. He turned quick and wrapped his arms around my neck. I opened the passenger door for him and he flopped in. "Okay lets go meet mommy dearest."

The drive was quiet. He was trying desperately to get his pant legs to dry and when he put his socks and boots back on he continued to convince me to stop so he could change, but I told him no. If my mom was going to meet him, he was going to meet him the way he was. And that was absolutely perfect for me.

I groaned remembering my mom had a gate leading to her house. Thankfully I remember the code and when I finally stopped the car and looked up at the huge, brightly lit house I seriously regretted this. It was dark now and I was glad. My mom had a strict bed time of 9 for her beauty rest.

I pulled away from my thoughts seeing the front door open and then seeing my 14 year old sister running out.

"Kendall!" I quickly jumped out and when she was inches form me, I picked her up, swung her and hugged around her tight. When I stopped I was facing the car and saw Logan smiling bright at me. I put down Katie and she quickly turned to Logan. He lifted out bags out of the car and she walked over to him. She reached up, grabbing his left ear lobe and he quickly dropped the bags. Logan looked at me but then at my sister. "If you hurt my brother I will hunt you down and kill you, got it? I don't care how old you are." She let go and turned to me smiling wide. "Mom made meat loaf!" She ran back in the house. I had to cover my mouth to stop the laughter. He was rubbing his ear, mouth hanging open like an idiot.

"So…Katie…she's a…sweet girl." I burst out laughing and he swallowed hard, still rubbing his red ear.


	23. Chapter 23: Top

His mom's house was huge. The front area looked like a lobby for a hotel. I watched him look around like it was nothing. He tossed our bags down and at the same time his mom walked through a door way in a business suit and loud high heels.

"Hey mom." He sounded a little happy but mostly annoyed.

"Kendall." She walked to him, briskly and hugged around him. Katie came out, with a soda can in hand and smiled at me. I smiled back but quickly turned to Kendall and his mom, who weren't hugging anymore. She glanced at me but turned away. Completely. Kendall sighed and extended his hand back towards me snapping for me to take it. I did and he pulled me forward.

"Mom this is Logan Mitchell. Logan this is my mother Jennifer Knight." She finally turned back to me, and all I could see was anger.

"Nice-nice to meet you-ou ma'am." I was a stuttering idiot. I extended my free hand and all she did was look down at it. She looked back up at Kendall and I quickly dropped my hand.

"Kendall Donald Knight!" I squeezed his hand hard and he sighed.

"Go ahead mom give me the same ridiculous speech you give every time I see you! What's the problem this time?" Her mouth flew open.

"Kendall you are 19 years old, going to college! You're dating one of your professors! Your face is all over the news! Do you know what that does for my business?" This time Kendall was squeezing my hand.

"Oh mom I am so fucking sorry my love life is ruing your business! Maybe it's a good thing so you could actually spend some God damn time with your daughter." He wasn't kidding about being in a fight with her.

"Do not try to tell me this is love Kendall! You don't know what love is! Your 19!" She turned her fiery gaze to me and I felt sick. "How dare you use my son."

"Mom!" Kendall let go of my hand and protectively stood in front of me. All I could see was between his shoulder blades. I was so glad I liked tall guys. "Can we talk in private please?" He was angry. He was talking through gritted teeth and I felt so helpless I could cry.

An hour later I was sitting up in his old room, out on the patio in my pajamas trying my hardest to block out the fighting still ensuing down stairs. I leaned against the wall and let the cool L.A. air wave around my face.

Why was I still trying to do this? Everyone…excluding my parents and James…wanted us to be torn apart. No one really cared that yes we were in love, and yes, God forbid we were happy. I was so in love with him…it hurt. Everywhere.

"Logan?" There were three tiny knocks on the closed bedroom door and I quickly got up and walked through the room, quickly opening the door. Katie was standing outside it, with a plat in both hands. "I brought you up some dinner. Kendall said you guys have had anything since before you left." I smiled and moved away so she could walk in. "Do you mind if I hang out in here with you? It kind of sucks hearing them yell…" For the first time since I met little Katie Knight she seemed sad and vulnerable.

"Of course. I could use some company." She smiled wide and jumped on her brothers bed, after handing me the plate. My stomach was growling and I was grateful for the meat loaf, mashed potatoes and green beans. As I sat at the desk, Katie put one of the pillows in her lap and turned on the flat screen mounted on the wall. As she looked through the channels finally deciding on the Exorcist, I started on the food. It still didn't drown out the yelling, but it was enough to make both of us forget about why they were yelling.

When I finished my food and turned back, Katie was curled up into a little ball eyes wide staring up at the screen. She looked scared, not that she would ever admit it. If she was anything like her brother, she would be too stubborn to change the movie. I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, not wanting to make her uncomfortable with my closeness. I sighed and rolled my eyes at the split pea soup scene.

"Logan you can sit back here with me if you want." I turned and slowly pushed myself back, so I was leaning against the head board her body sitting up just like me. I couldn't hear any more shouting but still Kendall didn't come up. I put my head back and tried to make the move i distract me like the food had and it did for a while. That was until I heard sniffling from next to me and turned seeing Katie crying her eyes out not even bothering with the movie any more. I quickly shut it off and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Katie what's wrong?" She wiped her face and shook her head. "It's okay. You can tell me." She sniffled and turned to me, looking through squinted eyes.

"My mom…she…her and Kendall never get along. When he still lived here, they were always fighting about something. And now…whenever he comes to visit…their still going to fight. Just like my parents did before their divorce." She now pushed her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on them. I slowly pulled her into my side, and she very willingly pushed into me, crying on my chest. I wrapped both arms around her and let her cry into my white shirt.

We stayed just like that for…hours probably. She didn't say anymore words, and I said none. It was like an unspoken agreement that she could always come to me, and I wouldn't judge or put her down. I wanted to make sure she knew that for the rest of her life, no matter what happened between Kendall and I.

I hadn't realized we had fallen asleep until I felt Katie being moved away. I opened my eyes fast and saw Kendall trying to untangle us. I lifted my arms and eh smiled picking her up and quickly carrying her out of the room. I got off the bed, yawning and stretching, noticing my shirt still wet form her tears. I tore it off and walked into the bathroom in his room turning on the faucet. I bent down and washed my face. It had been a stressful long day and the cold water felt cold on my face. Something else felt fantastic behind me as well.

I lifted up and smiled looking at Kendall. He looked tired, and mad and very sexy. He was gripping my hips and I turned in his hands and sat on the edge of the counter.

"That was very cute…you and her sleeping like that." I smiled and looked down. Apparently we weren't going to talk about his fight with his mom. "I'm sorry you had to hear and see her like that. My mom is a world class bitch." I looked up at him, and before I could say a word, his lips were on mine and he was pressing his body hard into mine.

He was squeezing onto my ass and lifting me up forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist. He would not let me turn away to breath and I was having a war inside my head, weather or not I liked this side of him. When I was thrown roughly onto the bed, finally able to breath and get a chance to look at him, he was taking his shirt off and walking to the door. He locked it and walked back to me ripping off his pants.

"Kendall are you alright?" He gave me a devilish grin and I answered my questions. Yes I loved this side of him. He yanked down my sweats and my heart rate sped up.

"I want to be top tonight Logan." I arched my back at his words and he grasped my hands, pinning them above my head.

"What about Katie and your mom?" He trailed hot, intense kisses down my neck and all over my chest.

"These walls are really thick…" He bit down on my nipple and I moaned out loud. "Be as loud as you want baby…" I glanced at his face as he continued his kisses to the top of my boxers. He let go of my hands and yanked those off. I sat up quick and grabbed his face kissing him hard. I pulled down his boxers and as he stepped out of them, I slowly started jacking him off, wanting him inside me…really bad. His lips moved from mine and went to my ear sucking on the lobe. "Turn around." I practically jumped when he said it and on the edge of the bed, I got on my hands and knees and suck my butt out. He walked to his dresser and pulled out a box of condoms, ripping one out of a package. I put my face down in the sheets and gripped them. He got behind me and rubbed my back while he positioned himself. "I've never done this before Logan. I don't want to hurt you." I laughed and reached behind me, grabbing his huge dick and slowly gliding him in.

Yeah it hurt. I definitely should have prepared myself but I groaned through the pain. When he was fully in me, I told him to not move so I could adjust. He bent over me and reached around slowly stoking my painfully hard cock. He kissed all over my back and I let out a sigh.

"Okay…go baby…" With that he pulled back just so the tip was in and forcefully snapped forward. I sat up quick and crashed into his chest. He wrapped around my body and started a slow, hard pace. I rested my head on his shoulder and he kissed my neck.


	24. Chapter 24: Shower

The hot water felt amazing on my skin. I had been standing under it for 5 minutes at least. I didn't hear the curtain move. I didn't hear him step in behind me. I didn't move when his hands scratched dup and down my back. I only moved from under the water, turning the faucet to the side, letting the water hit the wall, when his lips pressed into my neck, and trailed to each shoulder, and then in between the shoulder blades.

"Did I wake you up?" His arms wrapped around my waist and one of his hands briefly brushed against my cock.

"No…I had a shooting pain in my ass…can you think of why?" I chuckled and turned around slowly letting him keep his arms around waist. He looked so sleepy and it was so cute. I reached up and cupped his face thumbing just under his eyes. He closed his eyes and yawned. He pushed his face into my wet neck and sighed. "Why are you up so early?"

"My mom…she doesn't want us here anymore. She doesn't want us in her house." He looked up quick and backed away. My hands fell off his face and he looked horrified.

"So why are we still here?" I laughed and pulled him back into me, even though he did not want to. He fought me, but I wrapped around his shoulders and held him tight to me.

"I told her we'd be out by this morning. I'll get us a car and we'll go home."

"Kendall…" He tried pushing em away and I could feel the tears on my chest.

"Shush…it's not your fault. My mom is just an evil whore." I ran my hands through his hair and he sighed putting his cheek on my chest. "So let's clean up…sorry you're sore." He laughed and shook his head reaching down grabbing the bottle of shampoo.

"You are definitely the biggest." My cheeks flushed and he pushed off me pouring the liquid in his hands. He set the bottle down and raised his hands putting them on my hair. He gently started to message my head. I closed my eyes and let him rub the shampoo into my hair. "Were driving all the way back to New Haven?" I nodded and he sighed. "I appreciate that. I really do not like flying." I opened my eyes and he had removed his hand from my head and was now messaging his own scalp.

"Why is that?" I moved under the water and washed the shampoo out.

"I don't know…I never really flew as a kid so when we went on our very first vacation out of state we took a plane. We were going down to Florida. There was awful turbulence and…" I got out from under the water wiped my face and saw him scratching at his scalp. He was looking at me and I raised an eyebrow. "Sorry…anyway the turbulence was so bad I literally though we were going to die. It scared the shit out of me so bad." I moved out of his way so he could wash out the shampoo.

I watched the water run down his body ad felt myself get hard. I hoped to God he didn't notice because I just wanted to leave my moms house. He caught me staring and laughed picking up the conditioner. His eyes glanced at my cock and raised an eyebrow.

"Kendall Knight…you are such a horn dog." I laughed and he started putting the conditioner in his hair. He closed his eyes and started humming to himself.

We washed the rest of our hair, washed out bodies, and got out 10 minutes later. He was clutching onto me like there was no tomorrow. I wrapped us in two big towels and walked us back in my room to our bed. I set us down and he yawned. He was acting like a child, scared to leave his mother's side. I've never seen him so vulnerable it was refreshing.

I peeled away from him, dried and dressed myself. He lay back on the bed, yawning an drubbing his eyes.

"I'll be back. I'm going to go say goodbye to Katie before she goes to school." He nodded and I bent down kissing his lips and quickly pulled away. I walked out into the hallway and hated hearing my mom talking. I didn't tell Logan about our conversation. I never wanted to think about that talk again. I gently knocked on Katie's door yawning and rubbing my own eyes.

"One Sec." I leaned against the frame and heard movement behind it. Seconds later she opened it, smiling up at me. "You look like crap." I gave her a dirty look and pushed in her room ruffling her hair. "I can't believe mom's making you leave." I laughed and sat on her bed. She walked over to her desk and out papers and things in her black backpack.

"I'm sorry I couldn't stay very long. But Thanksgiving is just around the corner. If anything you can come fly out to see me. You know mom hates cooking." She laughed and turned to face me. "So do you like him?" She laughed and pointed to a textbook on her nightstand. I grabbed it, and gently tossed it to her.

"I don't know if you have noticed this about him, but Logan is so comforting without saying one word. He's really sweet and he like you a lot. I can tell." She shoved her books in her bag with a struggle. She zipped it up, and sighed putting it over her shoulder. "Kendall…I never even thought twice about you being gay. I don't care. I don't think anyone should care but they do…and that's life. And the thing about him being 10 years older…who cares? I can see it's more about you guys being in love then anything so it doesn't matter. I'll always love you big brother." I can't believe what I'm hearing from my 14 year old sister. She was so wise beyond her years it was comforting. I stood up and walked into her, hugging her against my body tight.

"Thanks baby sister. I love you too." I kissed the top of her head and she sighed.

"I want to say goodbye to him before I leave." I nodded and followed her out of the room. Once in the hall I saw my mother walking out of her room. She stopped when she saw me, and looked like she wanted to say something, but closed her mouth and walked to the stairs. I led Katie to my room and slowly opened the door, peeked in and made sure he was dresses so we didn't scar Katie. I pushed the door open and Logan turned quick cheeks flushing, trying his hardest to get a shirt, and put it on. "And he's buff. Nice pick big brother." Logan blushed harder and I laughed at how cute he looked. When he got his shirt on, Katie dropped her bag and walked into him, hugging around his waist. He sighed and wrapped around her. "I'm glad Kendall has you." Logan and I locked eyes and he smiled.

"I'm glad I have him. I'm the lucky one in this relationship." She giggled and looked up at him. "You know you are always welcome over." Her eyes widened and he nodded. "Whenever you want." She smiled and hugged him again. I leaned against my desk and watched them hold each other. So damn cute.

"Katie…we need to go." She sighed and pulled away. She grabbed her bag and waved at Logan, who waved back sitting down. Katie and I looked at each other and we walked out.

**SO…I'M GOING TO BE ENDING THIS STORY VERY SOON! I THINK IT'S RUN IT'S CORSE AND I DON'T' WANT TO KILL IT…SO EXPECT A WEDDING NEXT FEW CHAPTERS.**


	25. Chapter 25: Drivign Through Nevada

"Where are we?" Kendall asked as he sat up stretching looking around, pushing his hood off.

"Driving through Nevada." He nodded and put his head back.

"You want me to drive?" I shook my head and stared out at the dark road. "You've been driving since we left L.A." I laughed and nodded. One of his hands rubbed on my thigh and I groaned.

"Kendall…" I saw in the corner of my eye him taking off his seatbelt and quickly putting his he don my thigh laid down bringing his knees to his chest. I looked down and he was grinning while rapping an arm around my calf. "I am trying to concentrate on the road."

"I'm not doing anything. You don't want me to drive so I'll go back to sleep." I leaned back, put my right hand on his head and ran my fingers through his hair. "Why don't they let people under 25 rent a car?"

"Because they don't trust you younger kids…or maybe it has to do with credit…I'm not sure. Why babe?" He shrugged his shoulders and slowly started rubbing up and down my leg.

"Just curious. Do we need to get gas?" I looked down at the gauge and sighed.

"Probably. Do you want to stop for the night?" He again shrugged his shoulders and I turned off on an exit. It was only a little town and some creepy old Motels I did not want to sleep in. I pulled into the first gas station and turned the car off. "Hungry?" He laughed and turned his head into my crotch. He mouthed over my limp dick and I put my head back shaking my head. "I meant for food you pervert. Were at a gas station and this town looks like one of those that would drag us through the streets because we like dick in our mouth, so get up." He laughed pushing himself up and quickly got out. I followed him out and we walked into the station. The girl behind the counter smiled warmly at us. I smiled and we walked down two separate isle. I could hear him picking things up and he laughed. I grabbed some cough drops and Advil.

"Logan…" I looked up over at him and he threw me a box. I caught it before it crashed it to the floor. It was a box of condoms and I looked at him shaking my head. His mouth fell open and I set the box down walking down the rest of the isle. "Come on…that's the whole point of a road trip." I opened a fridge door and grabbed a few bottles of water. "I don't want water." He opened a door next to me and grabbed Coke and Gatorade. I shook my head and walked to the snack aisle. "Can we get Cheetos?" I turned to him and he was sticking out his bottom lip.

"How old are you?" He stuck out his tongue and grabbed two bags of Cheetos.

A handful of food, 200 dollars later and a full tank of gas, we were back on the road. Kendall was stuffing his face while trying to find a radio station. I sat back one hand lazily on the wheel while the other rested on my leg. The road was dark, and empty, with the occasional street bike and semi-truck going by. I couldn't find a more appropriate time to bring up his conversation with his mom so I did.

"So…you and your mom really went at it."

"Yupp." I glanced over at him and he sat back in his seat, giving up the radio and pulling his hood on.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nope." I turned back to the road and sighed quietly to myself.

"Why?" It was longer for him to respond and I could just tell he was irritated. So I pushed further. "When I was a kid my mom and dad fought once. It was the most terrible experience I ever went through. It was when I was 6 and I broke my arm on my skateboard. I came home crying and wailing like my brain was spilling out of my head by my ears and…"

"Your mom blamed your dad and your dad told your mom is was part of growing up for you. You waited a whole 30 minutes before they actually took you to the hospital. That's why you have a scar on your left forearm and your left hand is a little slacked." I turned to him eyebrows raised and he laughed taking a sip of water. "You de realize I read everything you wrote down about your life right?" I smiled and turned back to the road. "Was there a point to bringing that up?"

"Yes. That day, even thought I was 6 I knew what kind of person my mom was. She was always so controlling, and sheltering my dad and I joke that, that is why I'm gay." He snapped his head towards me and I chuckled reached out and resting my hand on his leg. "My mom is very outspoken, and most of the time she gets too outspoken and winds up pissing someone off.: I turned to him and cocked my head. "Sound familiar?" He looked away, and turned his head to looked completely out the window. "Kendall did you ever stop to think the things your mom does or says is because she's worried? About you…about your relationships? What happened when you got beat up in school? How did you mom react?"

"She sued every single one of the kids and their parents, and won. That's where my money comes from still." I squeezed his leg and sighed.

"See…your mom isn't a bad person. She's just scared for you. We unfortunately live in a world with homophobic gay bashing bigots. Sometimes, it's unsafe for us and so the people who love us get scared for us, and try our their best to get us to change our mind." He sunk down in his seat and my hand slid up his thigh until it was resting on his hip. I made quick work to glide my hand across his lower stomach and gently rub back and forth. "I honestly think you and your mom need to have a sit down and really talk things out. In fact I'm asking you to do that. For me. And for your sister. And I want no ifs ands or buts. You need a relationship with your mom. She gave birth to you so she's good for something." He chuckled and put one of his hands on mine.

"Okay Logan. I can do that. I can try to do that." I smiled and sighed out, content and happy. "You should have been a psychologist or something…fuck English." I gently slapped his stomach and he chuckled bringing my hand up to his mouth. He kissed in my palm and sighed. "I love you."

"I love you too Kendall."

I drove for only about 40 more minutes before I had to switch and let him drive. I was so tired and he had bought energy drinks so he could drive through the night. We quickly switched seats and I buckled myself in, and put my head back closing my eyes.

"You'll wake me up if you need me right?"

"Logan if the car sets on fire I will make sure to wake you up." I glanced over at him and he pulled out on the road.

"Kendall…" I whined his name and he laughed.

"You insisted on driving babe. And by the time you wake up, we'll be in…the next state over from Nevada. Which one is that?" I shot up quick and he laughed.

"Do you even know where were going?" He laughed harder and nodded his head.

"Relax! I'm just messing with you. Remember I drove this to get all my shit out to Yale. I know exactly where were going. Now sit back, relax and enjoy the ride okay? Would I let anything happen to you?" I put my head back and sighed. "That's what I thought. By the way you might want to give James a call when you wake up. I guess their seriously getting married and want us both there." I shook my head and sighed.

"Leave it to James to meet a 19 year old, and then a week later ask him to marry him. I really dodge a bullet there." He chuckled beside me and grabbed my hand holding it gently. "Love you."

"I love you too…" I think he started saying something else, but I was already completely asleep.


	26. Chapter 26: Best Man

"Home sweet home!" I had never been more grateful for my little two bedroom two bath apartment. Kendall chuckled behind me and I set my bag on the couch. "We are never going on another God damn road trip!" Again he chuckled and walked out into the kitchen while I sat on the couch. "I would rather fly Kendall. Seriously."

"Okay babe." He put some water in a cup and chugged it down. He put the cup on the counter and walked back out to me. "So…are we…I mean do you want me to…you know…move in?" I laughed and tackled him so he fell back onto the couch.

"Didn't I ask you to move in with me?" He nodded and I smiled. "Then yes dork." He reached down quick and grabbed my junk squeezing it. I groaned out and put my face in his neck sucking on his skin.

"Don't get too excited. My roommate said he already started packing my shit." I looked up quick and he shrugged his shoulders. "I'm going to finish packing and bring it all here."

"You want some help?" He raised his eyebrows and reached in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and read through some texts. "What?"

"You haven't heard from James?" I shook my head and he sighed. "Carlos asked to hang out today because James wanted to talk to you." I pushed up off him and sat on his hips. "You might want to check your phone." I pushed off him by his chest and he groaned out slapping my butt as I walked to by bag. "I should get going." He jumped up pulling his hood on over his head.

"Call em if you need anything. Help boxes…whatever." He nodded and leaned in kissing my cheek as I looked through my phone. I had at least 20 missed calls from James and 40 unread texts. I watched Kendall walk to the door and as he opened it James had a fist raised to knock. He smiled wide and pulled Kendall in roughly for a hug.

"Hey Kenny!" Kendall groaned and pushed away from him walking out after blowing me a kiss. "I don't think he likes me." James shut the door and I laughed.

"He's not really the hugging type, especially with people he doesn't know that well. Don't take it personally." James nodded and looked around.

"Did you guys just get back?" I nodded. He sat down and sighed out, shrugging out of his jacket.

"So what is it that you want to talk about?" I took a seat next to him and he looked me dead in my eyes.

"Well a couple of things. First I'm sorry." I raised my eyebrows and he turned completely grabbing my hands. "I know how it must seem. I meet Carlos and a week later I ask him to marry me." I laughed and shook my head. "I don't what you to think it's because I'm just looking for a hot young ass. I do really love him. He…he makes me feel so different. Like you did."

"How different could it be then?" He let go of one of my hands and hit my chest. I laughed and rubbed the spot he hit. "Kidding. I'm happy for you James. I've already told you that. And if I know you as well as I think I do the point of this is to convince me I still mean something to you and your not trying to rub Carlos in my face." He smiled that gorgeous winning smile and I nodded. "James believe it or not the way you feel about Carlos is the same way I feel about Kendall. I love him just like you love Carlos. I get it."

"Well good then I don't feel so weird asking you this next question." I sighed and sat back waiting for the worse. "Would you be my best man?" Everything went blank and then it went black. I didn't pass out, but my brain sure turned off. "So the silence and disgusted face is telling me definitely not. I'm sorry Loges, I didn't mean to ruin anything…" I watched him ramble and then stand up, and although I wanted to tell him to stop and sit back down nothing came out. "I really hope I didn't ruin anything Loges. I'm so sorry." When I saw him pulling his jacket on, I jumped up and grabbed his arm. He turned to me, near tears and swallowed hard.

"Of course James." His body relaxed and the jacket fell off his arms. "Sorry. I froze up there for a minute. Everything kind of went blank."

"You don't have to do it Logan." I laughed and nodded my head.

"I know…but you asked and I'm saying yes…so that's it right?" He quickly pulled me into his chest and hugged me tight. I inhaled his scent in, and hugged him back. I didn't realize how much I had missed him until now. I loved being in this mans arms. I closed my eyes and he rested his head on mine.

He pushed me down on the couch and sat next to me. I kept my head on his chest and he kept an arm around my shoulders.

"So…how has it been for you dating a 19 year old?" He laughed and kicked his shoes off. "In case you have noticed…my love life has been all over the news."

"Yeah I did. And I almost blew up the school." I slapped his chest and he huffed. "Its not my fault you work for a bunch of fucking morons. How many times have I told you to quite that piece of shit job?" I looked up at him one eyebrow raised.

"If I had quite I would have never met Kendall and you would have never met Carlos so don't even go there." He opened his mouth but shut it quick. I laughed and snuggled deeper into him sighing out. "That's what I thought."

"I just can't really stand to see you go through hell like that." I stayed quiet letting his words really sink into my brain.

Was it hell? Maybe…because yeah most of the people I worked with would treat me different and look at me weird but it didn't matter because I had Kendall. So no it wasn't really hell. Maybe Purgatory. Because there's always a 50/50 chance of getting out on the good side of purgatory.

I don't know why I fell asleep. That seems like all I did on the road when I wasn't driving, but I assumed it was because that was just the effect James had on me. I felt relaxed and comfortable. However, just like when we used to date and I would fall asleep on him, out of habit, he laid down on his back and let me curl up in a ball on his body. Not a good thing for both of our boyfriends to walk in on.

"Ahem!" I forced my eyes open and sat up quick. Kendall and Carlos were staring down at us, with their arms crossed over their chests. James snored loud and let his head fall to the side. I hit his chest hard and Kendall raised an eyebrow. James stirred, but still didn't move so I ruffled his hair and he shot up, sending me to the other end of the couch. He looked around flattening his hair out and stopped seeing the two standing.

"Hey baby!" He got up and Carlos put a hand up.

"Don't start Mister! You're in trouble! Now you have unpack both mine and Kendall's car, by yourself!" Carlos pointed to the door and I was literally shocked when I saw James walk out. Never…not even by me, had I seen James just give in so easily. Carlos, grinned very proud of himself and nudged Kendall. "Where's the bathroom?" Kendall laughed and pointed behind him down the hall.

"First door on the left." Carlos nodded and waved to me. He turned around and hopped down to the bathroom. I stood up and Kendall put his hands on his hips.

"So am I going to get yelled at like James?" He laughed and motioned for me to come to him. I did and he cupped my face, kissing me softly. He pulled away and still held my face.

"You will get a different kind of punishment though. One that can't happen until our guests are gone." I raised an eyebrow and he quickly reached down and around and pinched my butt. I yelped and heard the front door open.

"Could you have enough shit Kendall?" Kendall shot him a dirty look and I huffed.

"Like you have any room to talk James? Don't go talking shit to my guy to someone who's seen your four closets!" James tossed the two boxes to the ground and waved me off. He walked back out, mumbling something about all his clothes are a necessity. I turned back to Kendall who was smiling. "I guess I should go help the big baby."


	27. Chapter 27: Best Man Number Two

"Kendall Knight?" I looked up from my desk and saw my math teacher staring down at me. "Can you come up front please?" I felt every single student stared at me as I walked down the four rows to the front. Mrs. Schmidt smiled big at me and handed me a couple of papers. "Don't worry. It's just the work you missed." I let out a sigh and she laughed. I think Carlos has the notes you'll need." I nodded and turned. Most of the people had gone back to their own work and I quickly climbed up the steps, and took my seat Carlos jumped in his seat like he had been sleeping. He rubbed his left eye and yawned.

"You missed all of today's lecture." I slid my notebook over to him and he sighed. "Did you get any sleep last night?" He picked up his pen and started copying the notes.

"Not really. Do you need the notes form the past two classes?" I nodded and he dug through his messenger bag grabbing a black notebook. He flipped through the pages looking at the dates in the corner and put it in front of me.

"Is something going on with you and James?" I peered over and watched him stop writing. He looked up and his eyes were huge and glossy. "What's wrong?" He looked around and finally flipped the page an furiously started writing. I sat back and waited. He ripped out the page and folded it up three times before tossing it in front of me. I quickly opened it, and tried to hold back laughter.

"_I'm a virgin."_ I looked over at him and his cheeks were beat red. I cracked a smile and his mouth flew open and he threw his head down, hitting it hard on the table. I laughed and some people turned around, but said nothing.

"That's it? That's the problem?" He looked up yanking the paper form my hands and ripping it in half.

"It's embarrassing Kendall. Especially with James. I mean…he's clearly way more experienced. All I've ever done is jack off watching porn! I have no idea what I'm doing with him and he's being really sweet about it, but I can tell he's getting impatient." I sighed and nodded. "Do you think it's a mistake to be getting married already?"

"No." He sat back. "Do you love him?" He nodded. "And from what James has told Logan, who then of course told me, he loves you too. Like a lot." He looked up at me with eyebrows raised. "That should tell you its not a mistake Carlos. And the sex thing…" I turned away and remember my first time. It was amazing…but painful. "Sex isn't the only thing in a relationship. There has to be more, and if there's not then its not worth it. So you should feel good that you guys haven't yet. He means he loves you enough to wait. And make him wait. At least tell your wedding night. And for the love of God Carlos use protection." He nodded but still looked sad. "And maybe you should be having this discussion with him, and not his ex boyfriends new boyfriend." He shook his head opening his mouth to talk but was cut off.

"Alright guys if you have everything written down, and don't have any questions your dismissed." Both of us stood up, shoving all of our papers, books, and random pencils in out bags. We walked out, not saying anything, not wanting anyone to hear our conversations. When we were alone walking out to the parking lot he sighed.

"So did you get all your stuff moved in last night? Sorry we had to bail on you." I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.

"Don't worry. We took care of it." He nodded and stared at the ground, kicking at rocks. I looked out in front of us and stopped in my tracks. He noticed and looked back.

"What are you doing?" I pointed right in front of us and he turned. He dropped his bag in snow and took a sharp breath in. "James?"

James was leaning against a limo, talking on his phone. When he heard Carlos say his name, he hung up and put the phone in his pocket.

"Hi!" He started walking towards us and I picked up Carlos's bag. "You like?" He was grinning and Carlos looked at pushing him aside.

"Why is there a limo here? You know I have a car right?" He laughed and nodded pulling him in for a kiss. I turned away feeling awkward and like a third wheel.

"Yes I do…" I looked back and James was cradling Carlos's face in his hands. "But…today is a very special day. We're getting fitted for our tuxes fro the wedding today." Carlos smiled wide and threw himself in James's arms. James picked him and turned back to the limo. Again…third wheel.

I was about to say something when I saw Carlos whisper in James ear who turned around.

"Aren't you coming?" I looked around and shrugged my shoulders.

"I didn't know I was invited." James dropped Carlos quick and looked down at him sternly.

"You haven't asked him yet have you?" Carlos sighed and turned walking towards me. "Unbelievable…" James put his hand son his hips and I scrunched my eyebrows.

"Ask me what?" Carlos let out a loud breath and looked up at the sky, which was grey and really depressing.

"Well…my parents and my brother…well my whole family don't agree with me getting married so young and to a guy so…I don't have any family coming, and since you were the first person to even say hi to me here, I consider you a good friend and was wondering if you'd be…mybestman." The last part he said fast and low. James sighed and I laughed.

"I'm sorry you were wondering if I'd be your what?" He looked at me and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Best man! Jesus do I have to spell it out for you?" I smiled and quickly pulled him in hugging him tight.

"Oh course." He sighed out, in reliefe and hugged.

"Awe how cute…now we have an appointment and I don't like being late so let's go." James clapped loud and Carlos turned quick, tanking his bag out of my hand and walking into him. I followed by and watched James wrap an arm around his shoulders and lean into his ear.

The drive to the tux place was just like that, except with them making out and more ridiculous cute lovey dovey banter. When we parked I jumped out quick, grateful for the fresh air no matter how cold it was. I held the door open for the happy couple and automatically hated this.

James is a pretty boy. He's a perfectionist but it pays off for him…because he's hot but never again, will I ever go out shopping with him again. I just won't and cannot do it. They looked through the selection, James picking out ugly suites and putting them back after being shot down for Carlos, which I was happy for.

An hour after listening and watching them being sickingly cute on what they wanted Logan came in, looking cold and irritated. I walked over to him as he took off his jacket and handed it to one of the workers. I pulled him in and hugged him.

"Thank you for saving me!" He pushed me away and gave me a weird look. I pointed behind me and he looked sighing.

"James?" I shook my head and he grabbed my hand walking me back towards them.

"No it's both of them…their worse than girls Logan!" He laughed and leaned in kissing my cheek. "Why are you so cold?' He groaned and took a seat. I sat next to him and he put his head back breathing out hard.

"My God damn heater isn't working. I had to fucking driven all the way here in the fucking cold." I grabbed both of his hands and put them to my mouth breathing hard onto them. "And if that wasn't a nice enough ending for my shitty day I got pulled over for a busted tail light, which was busted in the parking lot."

"At Yale?" He nodded and lifted his head back up watching James and Carlos decided between a white and off white shirt. "I'm sorry you had a bad day." He turned to me and smiled.

"It's alright, because when were done here…"

"Which will be never." I sat back glaring at James and Carlos and he squeezed my leg.

"I can go home, take a nice hot bath, have a glass or two of red wine and cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend watching reruns of Friends." I smiled and pulled him into me kissing the top of his head. "How was your day?" He puled away and frowned. "I didn't even ask you. I just unloaded all of my shit on you." I laughed and shook my head.

"It was pretty uneventful. No one really bothered me, and luckily, I had almost every class with Carlos so I wasn't really alone." He nodded and put his head back on my shoulder, yawning. "I had to give out some advice today too." He looked eyebrows raised. I nodded and pointed to Carlos's turned back. I leaned in and kissed Logan's ear. "They haven't had sex yet, and Carlos is a virgin." I puled away and his eyes were wide.

"That sounds unheard of with James Diamond."

"What sounds unheard of with James Diamond?" We both looked up and James was standing in front of us hands on his hips.

"Nothing…have something picked out?" James gave Logan a weird look but sighed shaking his head.

"No…were calling it a night. Well come back tomorrow if you guys can."

"I have class until 7." James turned to me hopeful. Carlos came up behind him and laced his left and with James's right. I saw the ring James gave him and smiled. I either could lie and say im busy, or suck it up for my friends and be the third wheel.

"I'll be here."


	28. Chapter 28: Let Logan Be Logan

If it wasn't weird enough to have a kid in one of my classes dating my ex-boyfriend. But it was weird to know that every day after class I was helping them plan their wedding. With my 19 year old boyfriend. By the time Thanksgiving finally came around, I got so used to calling Carlos, Carlos, I started doing it in class making everyone look at me weird. Ignore the fact that everyone in that English class knew Kendall and I were dating, they know, no doubt thought somehow Carlos was involved. I guess it was an easy decision to quite.

Not that I had told a soul yet. Not even Kendall. But after this year I was done teaching and I was going to get the book I had been working on, also something Kendall knew nothing about, published and start my real life. With him by my side. Now I just had to tell him that.

The morning of Thanksgiving I woke up early to put the turkey in. I got it all cleaned out, stuffed and put in the oven in under 20 minutes and wanted to go back to sleep, but I had to clean and get ready for the day because it was the first Thanksgiving ever where my parents weren't with me. Not that I didn't want them or they didn't want to come, it just wasn't financially possible for them. Kendall being the most adorable and sweetest guy ever offered to buy their plane tickets but they turned him down telling him to "save his money for Christmas". Of course mom and dad.

I was cleaning the living room, wiping down the TV when Kendall came out, one of my sweaters on, and only a pair of boxers.

"Hey baby." He smiled and walked into me, kissing my cheek. "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine until I woke up…alone…and heard someone furiously cleaning." I smiled and turned into him capturing his lips in mine. He pulled away and grabbed my face. "When are James and Carlos coming over?" I laid my head on his chest and yawned letting the rag I was using drop.

"At noon. And beware. They have more pictures of flowers and table settings and everything else ridiculous." He laughed and it vibrated through his chest, into my ear, making me smile. His hand ran through my hair and he kissed the top of my head. "One of these days those two are going to be the death of me."

"Hopefully not sometime soon…I don't know how to cook a turkey." I looked up and he was giggling. "Which better cook fast. I'm hungry!" I rolled my eyes and turned away going back to my cleaning.

"Make yourself useful and help me clean." He sighed and I heard him walk away mumbling to himself.

By 11:30 the house was clean and I had the table set, and a football game was on the TV occupying Kendall, who I made get dressed in a pair of nice jeans and a white button up shirt. I picked at the plate of appetizers sitting on the kitchen counter and walked out to him.

"Carlos text me." He didn't even turn away from the TV and I sat next to him, drinking from my glass of apple cider. "They are stopping at the store and picking up some wine. Do you need anything?" I set the glass down and shook my head.

"I don't think so." He nodded and drank from his own glass of apple cider. "Who's winning?"

"Do really care?" He finally turned to me one eyebrow raised and I shook my head sitting back. He laughed and turned back to the TV. I felt nervous. I needed to tell him my plans so he was side railed when it actually happened.

"Hey can I talk to you about something?" He nodded and turned off the TV turning to me.

"I'm all ears baby." I smiled and wiped my palms on my knees. "Wow this must be big. I've never seen you this nervous." I gave a nervous chuckle and he smiled.

"Well…I wrote something." He nodded slowly and I swallowed hard. "And I finished it yesterday. I want to…publish it." His eyes widened and quickly grabbed my hands.

"Oh my God yes! I think you should! I don't even need to read it!" I laughed but stopped.

"So…I mean…obviously I need to you know…proof read it and get a company to actually do it…so I figured that would take a few months so…" He squeezed my hand nodding his head. Now or Never. "So I want to stop teaching and be a writer." His smile got wider if even possible and pulled me into him. "Are you upset?" He kissed my ear and sighed.

"Why would I be upset?" I shrugged my shoulders and he laughed kissing my ear again. "I would literally support you 100% no matter what you wanted."

"What if I wanted to be a prostitute? And shoot up heroin?" He laughed and kissed my hair and then pulled away.

"I would be your pimp and make sure your needles were clean and try to convince you, to do something else." I smiled and shook my head pushing him back and wrapping around him. "Can I read it?"

"Read what?" He sighed and I cringed. "It's not…not ready." He laughed and pinched my arm. "Owe…why do you want to read it?"

"Because! Please baby!?" He pulled away from me and stuck out his bottom lip, pouting. "You get to read all of my stuff."

"I'm your professor." He slammed down on the cushions and huffed. "Okay…okay calm down you big baby!" I gto up stomping all the way to the room. I opened my bag setting it on the bed and pulled out the thick packet. I sighed and slowly walked back out to him. I stayed standing gripping the papers and suddenly not wanting to do it. "You're the first person to read this and…"

"Logan I'm not going to laugh at you." I looked right at him and he stayed seating. "If you really don't want me to read it, I understand but I would never do or say anything to hurt you." I swallowed hard and looked down at the papers. I sighed out and walked over to him, handing it to him. He took it and smiled big.

I sat next to him only for a few minutes. I couldn't stand sitting next to him knowing he was reading my book. So I busied myself in the kitchen until James and Carlos came. I let them in, they said hit to Kendall, who put the book down only for a second and went back to reading it when they followed me out to the kitchen.

"So because the kiddies cant drink, and I don't want Carlos drinking I also grabbed some soda and aple cider." I smiled as James put the drinks down and Carlos handed me the bottle of wine. "What's he reading out there?"

"Not sure." I lied because if James knew I had written a book, he'd bug me until I let him read it too.

We made small talk in the kitchen, them talking about more plans about the wedding. I saw Kendall get up book in hand walk back into the room. When he reappeared empty handed and waked into me I smiled and let him wrap around me sighing in my ear.

"I'll finish it tonight." I closed my eyes and slowly nodded letting him kiss my ear.

The rest of the day went on with James and Kendall (no matter how many times Kendall told me James annoyed him because he was so perfect and handsome, he always managed to spend most of the time he was around talking to him.) watching football, while Carlos and I cooked and talked and I even helped him with one of the papers I assigned for over the break. When dinner came Carlos and James sat at one side of the table while Kendall and I sat at the other. James cut the turkey while I poured me and him wine and Kendall got drinks for him and Carlos.

I don't know why, but just the four of us, sitting around, talking eating enjoying each other's company, it just felt right. Like this was my new life, and this was my family, and we were going to be a part of each other's lives forever. It was heartwarming, and it made me happy knowing I may not have screwed up Kendall's first year of college. At least not yet.

Carlos and I forced James and Kendall to clean up as we sat in the living room, watching every holiday special on. I shamelessly fell asleep letting the turkey and the wine do their job. When I woke up, hearing soft talking and a low TV I almost laughed out loud. Kendall and James were sitting on the floor in front of the TV going through wedding magazines whispering to each other.

"No Carlos doesn't want roses. He thinks they're too cliché. I think their romantic."

"Yeah well Carlos eats at least 6 corndogs every day. I don't think we should let him make that kind of decision. They are romantic." I closed my eyes smiling and sighing, hoping I would fall back asleep. "Can I ask you something James? About Logan?" My eyes shot open and James turned to Kendall nodding. "I…I think sometimes he over thinks things and sometimes it's not a good thing."

"Thanks for stating the obvious genius. Now what's your question?" Kendall sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"With everything that happened with the school and us being a couple…I'm worried he's forcing his mind to work over time and I don't know how to help him."

"Wow cool, confident Kendall Knight is asking for my advice?"

"You don't have to be a dick about it…" James laughed and leaned back sipping form his wine. "Please. If anyone knows Logan it's you."

"True…" James set his glass down and closed a magazine. "But Logan has changed since when I was with him. I think he's always changing…like uhm…what are those things? A chameleon?" Kendall nodded laughing and James lightly shoved him. "Logan is a very complex, handsome creature that God cant even understand. Sometimes he over thinks things and it turns out okay. Honestly I've never seen his overthinking turn out bad. And whenever he was worried about something like really worried he would come to me. You need to let Logan work things out and if he needs help let him come to you. Don't suffocate him or else he'll get mad and block you out completely. Trust me I've been down that road didn't get laid for a week."

"James id rather not…"

"Sorry…just let Logan…be Logan. He'll come around." They went silent and I smiled, happy that my boyfriend felt comfortable enough to talk to my ex-boyfriend about me.


	29. Chapter 29: 9:45

"Best man duties official suck!" I slammed the front door and saw Logan look up from his grade book and a stack of paper. He took his glasses off and set them on the wood of the kitchen table.

"Something on your mind baby?" I walked past him into the kitchen and swung the fridge door open. I reached in and grabbed a beer. He sighed and I popped off the top putting it back and letting the sweet delicious liquid run down my throat. "So what did Carlos do now?" I put the half empty bottle on the counter and unzipped my jacket.

"First…I get to their apartment a little late because unfortunately I have a freaking life!" He nodded and I began pacing in the kitchen. "So I get yelled at for that. Then James has to leave because of the stupid tradition of not seeing each other the night before and I'm left with bridezilla who fucking bossed me around all God damn night! Do this…do that! Make sure all the guest know its very formal! Make sure you get everything taken care of while sit on my ass and continue to boss you around!" I threw my hand sup and saw out of the corner of my eye, Logan covering his mouth trying to hide his fit of laughter. "What?" He closed his eyes and shook his head laughing. "It's not funny Logan! He's being a dick! I don't want to do it any more! I want nothing to do with this wedding!" He sighed and stood up, grabbing an empty mug.

"Babe…he has every right to be this way. He's getting married."

"I don't care! That's not how you treat your supposed best friend! It's bullshit!" He poured in still steaming hot tea into his mug and turned to me eyebrows raised.

"Do you know how unbelievably sexy it is to hear you cuss like that?" I folded my arms over my chest and shook my head. "How simply fuckable you look so upset?"

"Logan…" He put up his hand and shook his head.

"After 7 o'clock tomorrow night, you wont have to ever worry about their wedding again, because it will be over, which means this little fit you just had…was for not." He put his hands on his hips and sighed. "Now…go…take a bath or something. Calm down and relax." I put my arms down and nodded. I tore off my jacket and tossed it on one of the kitchen chairs and walked back into the bedroom, tearing off my clothes.

5 minutes later I stepped into the tub, hot and bubbling with avender bubbles. I sat in loving the feel of the warmth on my cold skin. I put my head back at first and closed my eyes completely happy and content. But then I remembered the frayed book of paper sitting on the toilet seat. I reached over drying my hands and grabbed it, automatically smiling. I sat back and flipped through the pages until I found the last spot I was in. I sighed out and scanned the black words, on the white page until I spotted the paragraph I left off on.

"_Everything in my body was forcing me to get up, and leave. Every thought running through my head was screaming at me to wake up and run. This wasn't going to end well for me. I had put my heart on my sleeve and now was paying the price. He had ripped out my heart and ate it, not even thinking twice. I wasn't sure if I felt the same. I was scared I would be hurt, again, and I didn't know if I could handle that. _

_As if he could read my mind, he looked up at me and gave a small smile, not showing teeth but just turning up the sides of his mouth. I swallowed hard and looked away trying to force myself to change my mind. But my mind was set. I had to have him. I needed him. And one way or another I was going to have him."_

I closed the book, looked to the bathroom door and watched Logan walk in, half naked. He stopped, leaned against the counter and sighed seeing the book in my hands.

"Room for one more?" I grinned ear to ear and nodded. I set the book back on the toilet and he unzipped his pants, pulling them down with his boxers. He yawned, clearly exhausted from grading midterms. A plus of dating your English professor? He graded my test first and handed it back to me, telling me how proud he was. I wasn't. I got a b. If anyone still thought we were doing this so I could get a good grade, they were mistaken.

I watched him step one foot in and shiver putting the other in. I lifted my legs and pushed them to the sides of the tub. He sat down cupping water in his hands and putting it over his body. When he was ready, he finally laid down between my legs, our soft dicks touching and putting his head on my chest under my chin.

"God I loves baths." I laughed and put my head back closing my eyes.

"I love you Logie." He sighed and both arms wrapped around my back. "When did you start writing that book."

"Last year. But for the longest time I went through some serious writers block up until just like…two months ago. Why?" I traced up and down his spin and shrugged my shoulders.

"Just curious. Who is it about?"

"Well first it's about James and everything I went through with him. But after that I didn't know what else to write about. Then I met you, and now I have a finished book. How far are you?"

"I have a few more chapters." He sighed and nodded against my chest. "So your telling me im your muse?" He lifted his head and I opened my eyes looking down at him. His expression was blank and it kind of worried me.

"Muse…yeah. That sounds right." He put his head back and I chuckled. "Even before we started dating…i…you were always on my mind. From the very first day you took that seat in my class ws completely drawn to you."

"Right back at you handsome." He laughed and turned his head slightly to kiss my chest. It sent shivers up and down my spine and I let out soft moan. His lips moved p mu chest until the met my neck. I ran my hand sup through his hair and gave a soft tug. He pushed up forcefully attacking my lips.

The rest went by in a blur. I don't know if its because of the heat of the water or just how unstable this man made me. We had sex…condom less sex in the tub and it felt fantastic. He was bouncing on top of me, making water and bubbles splash everywhere. I didn't last long and neither did he which was completely fine for both of us. He got out first wrapping a towel around his waist. I unplugged the tub, panting feeling dizzy and got out, letting him dry me. When I was completely dry, he walked me out into the room and handed me a pair of boxers and a plain grey shirt. I climbed into bed, quick and watched him cry himself, before getting into a pair of sweats and nothing else. He went itno the living room, shut everything off locked everything up and walked back into the room.

"I just realized something." I sat up and looked at him as he opened the window just a crack. "Their getting married on Christmas Eve."

"Babe…seriously?" He laughed and jumped into the bed, well on my lap and pushed me back. "And you're a Yale professor?" He pinched my left nipple and I laughed rolling onto my side bringing him down with me. We tangled our legs together and i pulled him into my chest. "You have an alarm set right? Don't want to upset Princess Carlos…" He nodded and pulled the blanket over us.

"Yupp set for 6. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with Carlos. James is completely calm about this whole thing." I nodded, already drifting into sleep.

I hadn't had that good night of sleep in a really long time. Unfortunately when I woke up my good night seep was turned to shit, quick. I sat up, groggy and sore form staying in the same position all night. I turned and saw the three red lights on the night stand clock and turned away yawning. When I stopped I turned back around and almost had a heart attack. I started shaking Logan, still looking at the clock.

"No Kendall…let em sleep."

"Logan!" I turned to him and he opened his eyes sitting up fast and hard.

"What? What's wrong?!" I pointed to the clock but before he had time to say anything there were 4 loud sharp bangs on the front door.

"Logan Mitchell! You're fucking late!" Logan groaned hearing James and got out of bed quick rubbing his eyes. I turned back to the clock and cringed thinking of how pissed Carlos would be.

9:45


	30. Chapter 30: Yes

"Will you please sit still!" He glared up at me and sighed.

"You know this wouldn't be in such a rush if you hadn't slept in."

"Fuck off." I ran the comb through his hair once more and sighed. "Okay, now let your hair dry and help me with my tie." He got up from the seat and we walked over to the small closet in the hotel room. "I really hope Carlos is doing okay."

"Why wouldn't he be?" I unzipped my pants and turned to him.

"Kendall came home last night pissed off because Carlos is a total wreck." James laughed and stepped out of his pants. I kicked off my jeans and grabbed the black pants.

"Yeah I know…I was so freaking grateful I got this room. He's been driving me nuts…but I love him for it." I laughed and took off my sweater and white under shirt.

We dressed our selves the rest of the time in silence. James stayed shirt less Not wanting to ruin his hair until it dried and he could handle it better. I stood still as he tightened the tie around my neck and I looked up at him. He had his tongue sticking slightly out so he could concentrate. He looked adorable.

"So no bow ties?" He smiled and shook his head. "Carlos?" He nodded and I nodded back putting my hands in my pockets. "James…I know I've told you this like a billion times already, but I'm really happy for you and Carlos." He stopped working on the tie and looked in my eyes. "I know we have had…a crazy roller coaster relationship but…" He cut me off by laughing and straightened the tie.

"Logan how many times do we have to have this discussion?" I sighed and looked down flattening the tie. "One of these days I'm going to be so tired of hearing you apologize for the craziest shit, I will knock you out." I punched his gut and turned away. I sat on the bed and pulled on my black socks as he put his shirt on.

"Are you nervous?" I looked up at him as he buttoned the shirt.

"No. Just…really happy." I smiled and looked down tying the shoe strings on the black and white Converse. When I was finished I watched him get the rest of himself ready until he was sitting next to me on the bed tying up his shoes. "Hey…did you ever think this was going to be us?" I turned to him quick and shrugged my shoulders. "That like…we could have gotten married? Had two kids? A minivan?" I laughed and looked down at my feet which were swinging hitting the bed.

"I think we could have. But then I think…maybe it's best that we didn't." I turned to him and he put his leg down both shoes now tied tight on his feet. "Because lets not kid ourselves James. With you and me, we were like a Volcano and an earthquake. It was just a toxic mix." He laughed and nodded. "And besides…Carlos was made for you."

"You think so?" I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

"I know so James." His arms went around my waist and we sat like that, not saying anything, until there was a soft cough. We both pulled away and saw Kendall holding the door open waiting, foot tapping on the ground.

"Keep your hands to yourself buddy. You got your own guy to hug, whose waiting to marry you." I got up giving Kendall a death glare who smiled big at both James and I walking out.

We walked down into the lobby and James said hello to a few guest and I sneakily grabbed Kendall's hand as we walked into the ballroom where the ceremony and reception was taking place. We walked in, staying back as more and more people passed taking seats. It all seemed so surreal to me, that so many people were willing to celebrate two peoples love for each other no matter what their sex was. I glanced up at Kendall who was smiling warmly at people as they passed, still holding my hand. I opened my mouth to talk but stopped feeling someone touch my other arm. I turned and James was breathing out.

"I think we're ready." I nodded and turned quick kissing Kendall's cheek and letting go of his hand. He stepped out of the way and I put my arm out so James could hook his arm with mine. When he did I gave one last smile to Kendall and started walking James down the aisle.

I waited patiently standing behind James as we waited for Kendall and Carlos to appear. It seemed to be taking longer than usual and James glanced back with a questioning look and I shrugged my shoulders. We both looked to the entry way and watched Kendall quickly walk down the aisle, smiling but looking nervous. When he got to us, I walked to him and he grabbed my shoulders and leaned into my ear whispering.

"Carlos won't come out of the bathroom. He's in hysterics. He keeps saying he's scared." I sighed and nodded. I turned to James and smiled.

"Stay here. Both of you. I'll be right back." James opened his mouth to protest but I was already walking down the aisle heading out. Kendall was explaining we were just having a slight problem and not to worry. I ran out into the lobby and looked around until I found the men's bathroom. I ran over to it and tried pushing it open. I knocked and closed my eyes. "Carlos…can I come in?"

"Go away!" I sighed and put my forehead on the door. "I can't do it Logan. I'm…I'm not good enough for him."

"Why do you think that?" There was sniffling and a little bit of movement but the door remained closed.

"Because…he's…him. I'm just plain boring old Carlos."

"Do you really think if you were plain boring old Carlos he'd be with you?" It went quiet and then I heard footsteps. The locked clicked to eh side and I quickly opened the door stepping in. His eyes were red and puffy. His cheeks were a little red and there were tear marks on them. "Carlos…I've seen the way he is with you. I've…never seen James act like this. Like you and only you have complete control over him. He is literally doing everything you ask him and that's new for James. He loves you Carlos, more then you seem to know apparently. I know it's scary because you're so young but as long as you two have each other…you can literally conquer the world." He wiped his eyes and continued to look at me. "Today you'll be making a commitment to stay with him, love him, cherish him, protect him for the rest of your life." His eyes grew and I smiled grabbing his hands. "But guess what? He's making the same commitment. He's in this for the long haul that alone should give you some comfort." He looked down, a small smile on his face. "So…what do you say, we clean you up a bit cause you're a crying mess…" He laughed and let go of my hands wiping his face. "We'll go walk out there together, and you can get married to the man of your dreams and live the rest f your life, happily with him. How does that sound?" He nodded and smiled big at me.

I hooked my arm with his and we slowly walked down the aisle Carlos crying again seeing James. When we got to them, James pulled Carlos in for a hug and I took my original place behind James. Kendall was smiling big at me from the other side and I waved at him smiling just as big.

The ceremony went through, both James and Carlos saying vows they wrote themselves. I don't think Carlos stopped crying through the whole thing and it was making James cry. Kendall and I couldn't stop smiling and when I heard you may now kiss your groom, I felt a burst of happiness and energy run through my entire body. James pulled Carlos in for a long, sweet, romantic passionate kiss, and the people watching clapped and stood up smiling ear to ear.

Kendall and I sat next to each other at the front table while we waited for James and Carlos to come in. Kendall leaned over, kissed my ear and put a hand on my thigh.

"What did you say to him?" I smiled and sipped my Champagne. I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders.

"That is information on a need to know basis."

"I need to know." I laughed and shook my head. "Fine. Well whatever you did say you should het a medal. All Carlos did was yell at me." I laughed again and he rolled his eyes sipping from his glass of Champagne.

"I can't believe neither of their families came out." He nodded and put his glass down playing with a napkin holder. "They must be so heart broken." He shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know…they have plenty of people here who love them. And they have us. We should count as family especially after today." I smiled and watched him. He was watching the people laughing and smiling, sipping Champagne and making small talk. He was twirling the napkin Holder around his left pointer finger still smiling. I opened my mouth, to speak…no ask something when the doors opened and James and Carlos walked in, looking disheveled. James's once perfect hair was sticking up on one side a little, and Carlos's neck was a little red and slightly bruised. I smiled and both Kendall and I stood up hugging them both and letting them sit down.

Dinner went by slow all of us getting distracted with stories and laughter, not really paying much attention to the plate full of food in front of us. I was leaning into Kendall just like Carlos was leaning into James. We practically mirrored each other except something was missing on our part. I looked up at Kendall and he looked down smiling and chewing.

"Let's dance." He nodded and sipped his Champagne before standing up, excusing us, and dragging us out onto the already packed floor. We squeezed into the middle and I automatically wrapped around his torso putting my head on his shoulder, letting him lead. He grabbed my left hand held it up as the other wrapped around my back. He placed kisses all over my hair until he put his head on mine and sighed peacefully. "Hey Ken?"

"Yeah babe?" I squeezed my eyes shut and felt the little food I had eaten, turning in my stomach.

"I want to ask you something."

"Ask away my love." I had to smile hearing this. For the third time this night I opened my mouth to ask him and was once again interrupted. It was James and Carlos's first dance and everyone cleared the floor. I stood in front of Kendall. His arms holding mine, wrapped around my front, his chin on my shoulder. "What were you going to ask me?" I swallowed hard and smiled.

"Later." He chuckled and nodded. We watched James and Carlos dance around never taking their eyes off each other. They looked so in love, and so happy I couldn't take it anymore. I turned quick, startling Kendall and grabbed his hand, dragging him out.

I found a side door and pulled him out, letting the door shut quick behind us. I let his hand go and he was laughing.

"Okay…that was odd." I smiled and put my hand sin my pockets. "We're going to catch our death out here. It's freaking freezing. Couldn't we have talked inside?"

"Too many people and too many distractions." He stopped and went still.

"You're going to kill me aren't you?" I bust out laughing and shook my head. "Okay so then what could be so important you don't want to say in front of people?" He was giving me a delicious gorgeous smirk and I sighed hard.

"I love you." Now it was his turn to laugh. I raised an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders.

"Uhm…duh? That isn't earth shattering news babe. I know you love me." I nodded and played with the small hard ring in my hand in my pocket. "Is there something else?" I looked down and saw the ground was clear of snow and I thought to myself over and over…now or never.

"I…I love you." He smirked and nodded. I dropped quick to one knee and his mouth fell open. I smiled and is hands fell to the sides. "I don't want to be without you Kendall. I can't see my life without you. I can't believe I went thirty years without you to begin with. Of course…when I was born you weren't yet…but that's not the point…wow it all of a sudden got hot out here." All of my bravery had left and I shook my head trying to clear it. "Will you marry me? Make me the happiest, luckiest, coolest guy in the entire world?" His mouth closed and he looked two seconds away from either crying or passing out. I pulled out the ring, and held it up. He covered his mouth with one hand and closed his eyes. "I love you Kendall Knight." He let out a gasp and put his hand down. He slowly opened his eyes and a smile started forming at his lips.

"Yes."

**OKAY! YAY I FINISHED IT! I LOVE WAY THIS OEN TURNED OUT, AND I'M NOT ADDING ANYMORE TO THIS STORY! I MAY…MAY DO A SPIN OFF KIND OF THING, BUT I ALREADY HAVE ANOTHER KOGAN IN MIND SO I'M GOING TO START THAT ONE. I HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYED THIS AS MUCH AS I DID **

**REVIEWS ARE LOVE!**


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